


In the Beginning there is No End

by Dolavine



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-22
Updated: 2011-09-22
Packaged: 2017-10-23 22:58:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 31,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/256021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dolavine/pseuds/Dolavine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is Sam’s journey, his story of what happened before he and Dean began their epic adventures in the Impala. It’s a story of their love, hard choices and discovering that some bonds are stronger than time and distance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the Beginning there is No End

As long as Sam can remember he and Dean have spent at least a few weeks a month alone in a motel room somewhere within the United States. He has seen twenty seven schools in his short eight year career as a student and the longest he ever spent at one particular school at given time was two months. He isn’t sure how many schools Dean has seen as he started four years earlier but Sam is very sure he can’t wait to graduate.

“I see Dad’s away again,” Sam says as he throws his backpack onto his bed.

Dean looks up from the magazine he’s reading, “He left a note and forty bucks for take out,” he says handing the note to Sam before returning to his Hot Rod magazine.

Sam read the note with the money taped to it and scowls. “Forty dollars and he’s going to possibly be gone for over a week?”

“We can live on one pizza for a few days if we have to,” Dean says without much concern in his voice. “Besides Sammy, you know I can find us money and I still have that credit card Dad left me last time. We’ll get by, quit being a worrywart.”

Blowing his long bangs from his forehead Sam flops back on the bed and unzips his backpack, “Whatever, I’m just getting sick of Dad’s disappearing acts, coming back from school to find the Impala and Dad gone for some undetermined amount of time,” he says with a disgusted tone as he unpacks his books.

“It’s a hunter’s life Sammy you should be used to it by now.” Dean shows him no compassion at all not even a glance in Sam’s direction as he pretends to be completely involved in the magazine.

“Yeah, I’m going to do my homework now,” Sam opens his book and rolls onto his belly as he tucks a pencil behind his ear.

 

No matter how old Sam gets, no matter how tall he is, or even if their dad is with them or not, Sam always sleeps in the same bed with Dean. It’s so normal to him, so common place to be right next to his brother. There is a safety in it, a comfort for both of them to know that the other is right there safe and sound.

Dean stumbles in the door from a night out visiting the local bars looking for hot chicks. He’s trying to be quiet but the drunken stumbling wakes Sam up. He watches Dean fumbling around with his boots as he tries to pull them off from a standing position without untying them. He can’t help but snicker at him as he falls helplessly backwards onto the bed then exasperatedly lays there.

“Need some help,” Sam asks, not waiting for an answer as he climbs out of bed and starts to remove Dean’s boots.

“Thanks Sammy,” Dean’s words are slurred and he can’t even manage to lift his head to look at Sam as he lifts his other leg for him.

“No problem,” he says working at Dean’s belt buckle. This is something that he’s become accustomed to in the last year since Dean got that fake ID and their Dad has been staying away for longer periods of time. Sam knows it’s hard for Dean to be his keeper, even though he can take care of himself, at 14 he still legally needs a guardian so he does what he can to help when he can and this is one of those times, again.

“Mmm you do that so good Sammy,” Dean says with a drunken slur. His eyes are closed and a smirk turns up at the corner of his mouth before he cracks open one eye to look down at Sam working his jeans down off his of hips. “Sure you weren’t a girl in a past life,” he quips.

“Shut the fuck up Dean. If you didn’t get your ass so drunk I wouldn’t have to undress you. Now lift your ass, I can’t get the jeans off of you,” Sam barks back at Dean.

Dean lifts his hips as Sam pulls the denim down taking the boxers right along with it. They start to laugh when Dean’s exposed from the waist to the knees, Sam blushes and thanks God that the room is still too dark for Dean to see it. “Sorry,” he says pushing the cotton fabric back up and over Dean’s exposed cock lying flaccid against his thigh.

“Like what you see,” Dean says helping to pull his boxers back up.

Sam turns away and gets back into the other bed again. “Fuck you Dean,” he says pulling the cover up over his head.

Sure he’s seen Dean before, helped him undress lots of times, shared the bathroom with him almost every day but for some reason tonight seemed different. Maybe it was the way Dean seemed to be flirting with him, the way he smelled of cheap whiskey and cigarettes, or the damp spot he saw on his boxers but tonight in this low lit motel room Sam’s heart started to flutter when he opened Dean’s belt buckle. His fingers fumbled just a bit more when he started to pull down his jeans and when his boxers came with them he couldn’t help but stare at Dean’s exposed cock.

Dean finishes stripping down to his boxers and t-shirt himself, he crawls up into the bed and manages to wrap himself up in the covers. He looks over at Sam who is eyes deep under the covers. “You gonna stay over there all night,” he asks, his voice low like he’s trying to keep it a secret.

Sam pulls the covers below his chin and looks over at Dean, “Are you going to stop being an ass?”

“You like my ass, admit it,” Dean says with a chuckle before sliding to the opposite side of the bed and pulling the covers back to pat the crisp sheet beneath it. “I don’t think I could sleep without you next to me.”

Sam lets out an exasperated sigh, like its killing him to even think about pleasing Dean but really it’s all he has wanted to do for years. “Alright,” he sighs out as he quickly changes beds.

Settling in next to Sam, his knees bent up behind Sam’s legs, his chest flush with Sam’s back, Dean lets out a contented sigh. He can smell the perfumed scent of the hotel shampoo in Sam’s hair and he drinks it in as he slips a hand across the small of his back. “You’re using that foo foo hotel shampoo again aren’t you,” he says, a huge smile on his face.

“If someone would buy some regular shampoo once in awhile I wouldn’t need to use it,” Sam shoots back. He’s enjoying the warmth of Dean’s hand on his back, the way his knees make him fold in half a little bit and the feel of Dean’s hot breath on his neck.

“Ya know, I think I like the foo foo shampoo better,” Dean says in a semi drunken haze before passing out completely.

 

Sam pushes back into Dean’s body settling into a comfortable space, enjoying the rhythm of his soft breathing before drifting off into a very contented slumber.

 

Sam doesn’t question Dean the next day, he doesn’t wonder why he said the things he had said and chalks it up to his drunken state but he does ponder his own feelings. He watches Dean crawling to the bathroom, the hangover getting the best of him and wonders if he remembers what he said to him about the belt buckle or shampoo because he remembers it all; all the way down to the tingle in his stomach that he felt when he opened Dean’s belt buckle.

When John walks in, Sam is reading and lying in bed next to Dean, who is still nursing his sick headache. He’s bloody and sweating and commands them to pack up because as soon as he’s showered they are moving on.

“Yes sir,” Sam croaks out. There is no hello, no Hi dad, and no pleasantries just taking commands from the General they call Dad.

Dean’s head is thrumming but he can’t let John see it or he’s going to know right away that he has a hangover. He gets up and throws his dirty clothes and clean clothes together in the duffel bag and gives Sam a knowing glance before putting his finger to his lips for the quiet signal. Sam just smiles and nods a yes back.

~~~~~~~~~//\\\~~~~~~~~~  
~~~~~~~~~\\\//~~~~~~~~~

 

There is always miles and miles of road ahead of them, the next hunt, the next town, the next big lead to the Demon that killed their Mom.

The sound of Asphalt under the tires is the most repetitious sound in their lives.

Sam stares out of the back window while Dean and John talk about where they’re headed. He tries not to pay too much attention to them, letting the words to Cream’s White Room fill his head. How long they had been on the road he wasn’t sure but he had counted 196 mile markers from when they first got onto the highway. A distant voice invades the music he’s been focusing on.

“Sammy, Sammy,” Dean says before reaching back and touching Sam’s shoulder.

Sam jerks his head forward to see Dean leaning over the back of the seat smiling at him. “What,” he asks sleepily, like he’s been in a dream state for the last few hours.

“Are you hungry?” Dean asks settling back in his seat.

“Mmm, sure I’m hungry,” he says leaning up to look over Dean’s shoulder at the map for some idea of where they are.

John smiles in the rearview mirror at him. “We’re heading to Colorado Sammy,” he says reaching over to point at the map.

Sam furrows his brow. “It’s winter there, won’t we hit snow this time of year?” he asks with earnest, like he was worried about traveling in it.

John reaches back and ruffles Sam’s hair as they pull into a roadside diner parking lot. “It’s okay Sam we’ll be fine.”

Its hours more on the road and one night sleeping in the car before Sam sees the sign; Now Entering Sunshine Colorado.

When Sam steps out of the car his breath cuts the air as a white fog, a wet mist hangs heavy in the cold air and he lets a shiver crawl up his spine before pulling on his jacket. The bright neon sign says Sunshine Motel, vacancy, low rates, air conditioning and HBO. Sam laughs at the air conditioning before putting his hood up and rubbing his hands together as he follows Dean and his Dad into the Motel office.

They check into the Motel and before they can get themselves settled in John is out the door. “Be back with some food in a bit,” is all he says as the door closes behind him.

Dean flops down on the bed with the TV remote in hand and waggles his eyebrows at Sam. “Free HBO,” he says flipping on the TV set.

Sam sits at the desk in front of the window and opens the small paperback book that he was reading for English class in the last school he attended. He thumbs through the warn pages of Catcher in the Rye until he finds where he had left off.

It’s been a few hours since John left, Sam has finished his book and Dean’s sleeping with the remote still in his hand as a cheap horror movie screeches in the background.

When the door opens and John enters with a bucket of chicken under his arm, a six pack of beer and a 2 liter bottle of soda he’s already pretty close to being completely drunk. He stumbles over to the desk where Sam is sitting and drops the bucket of chicken in front of him with an unintelligible grumble. He pulls out a beer and twists the top off, the white foam frothing up and over the lip, he blows the foam away and chugs a few quick swallows before nudging Dean with his knee. “Food’s here Son,” he says weaving on his feet before flopping down on the empty bed, his beer sloshing onto the blanket. “Shit, get me a towel Sammy,” he grumbles loudly.

Sam does as he’s told without question, fetching a towel and sopping up the mess. Dean watches him trying so hard to please their drunken father and it makes him a little bit sad to see his little brother basically cowering to him.

It’s not very long at all and John’s passed out across the bed beer spilling onto his chest as he snores loud enough to wake the dead. Dean plucks the beer from his hand and throws a cover over him for the night.

Sam’s eating a cold chicken leg and drinking the soda straight from the huge 2 liter bottle when Dean grabs a thigh and settles in next to him on the bed. “Give me a swallow,” Dean says grabbing at the bottle.

Sam pulls the bottle away and puts it behind his back. “Nope, its mine,” he says smiling huge with a mouth full of chicken.

“Don’t fucking Bogart the soda dude,” Dean says as he reaches across Sam to grab at the bottle, his full body now over Sam’s.

They fall back onto the bed, Dean pressing down on Sam as he wriggles beneath him, his hips actually grinding into Sam’s groin. Sam likes the feeling; he is actually getting hard with the feeling of Dean heavy on him, his hips grinding down into him as he wrestles with him for the soda bottle that Sam keeps at just the right arms length.

This playing around is turning into something Dean can’t figure out, he’s now finding himself aroused, his cock is getting hard and his heart is racing a mile a minute. He stops and looks down into Sam’s eyes which are wide as they stare right back at him. He can feel the bulge in Sam’s jeans pressing into his thigh and he isn’t sure what is about to happen.

Sam feels the urge to wrap his arms around Dean, to hold him tight to his body while he ruts against him frantically. He’s nervous, but yet he sees something in Dean’s eyes, like a want or need, something mutual in nature to his own desires yet he falters and falls limp under Dean’s weight.

Dean takes Sam’s wrists and holds them in place while he examines his expression, taking in every line, every inch of Sam’s face as he tries to figure out if what he’s feeling is mutual or even right.

John stirs and rolls over, his eyes open and he grunts. “Dean leave Sam alone and get off him or you’ll sleep in the car tonight,” he says before falling back to sleep.

They separate, sitting up quickly on opposite sides of the bed. Their hearts are beating fast and hard as they both refuse to look at each other.

Dean clears his throat before he speaks. “Gonna get cleaned up for bed,” he says taking a warm beer from the half empty six pack on the floor next to his dad’s bed and heading into the bathroom with it. He leaves Sam alone on the bed in hopes that whatever just happened between them isn’t there when he gets back.

Sam’s confused and slightly bewildered. He wants to knock on the bathroom door and ask Dean what the hell just happened but he can’t bring himself to do it so he just sits there, the hard on in his jeans refusing to go down without release. He kicks off his jeans and slips between the sheets, his hand snakes down under his boxers like he’s done so many times before when he wakes up with wood and is too tired to get up to go to the bathroom to take care of it. His long thin fingers wrap loosely around the swollen shaft and begin to slide up and down, each dry pull drawing him closer to his orgasm. He closes his eyes, mouth slack as the thought of rutting against Dean fills his head, his hips circling slightly at the thought of Dean’s weight pressing down into him like it was just a few minutes before. His hand pulling faster and harder and a few more dry tugs and he’s cuming slick and sticky into his palm. His breath is ragged as his heart beats a thousand beats a minute. He wipes his hand on the side of the bed sheets and mops the rest that spilled out onto his belly with his boxers.

Dean drinks down the beer in three long swallows as he stares at himself in the mirror. He looks into his own eyes and questions his sanity. “He’s your brother,” he says aloud to his reflection. “Not even to mention he’s only 14 fucking years old,” he grumbles as he takes the last long swallow of beer from the bottle before dropping it into the waste can.

He’s confused and angry at himself and doesn’t know what to do. He’s having these thoughts about Sammy, his little brother, and he doesn’t know what to do about it. He tries to remember just when he stopped liking girls and started lusting after 14 year old boys.

He strips down to his boxers where his cock has gone semi flaccid with the mortification of why he even got hard in the first place. “You’re an 18 year old chick magnet, girl’s lust after you, boys want to be you, what the fuck do want with your 14 year old brother,” he says pointing at his reflection hoping that it will give him some kind of answer, but it doesn’t. “What if dad finds out that I want to fuck guys and worse,” he says pacing back and forth before he leans up against the wall and holds his fists against his temples. He closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths. “You have to go out there and sleep in the same bed with him, feel his heat pressing against you as he stretches out and wraps his arms around you like he does every night.” His mind thinks about the heat, the feeling of Sam’s length pressed against him and his cock grows to full hardness again and it’s not going to go away without release.

Dean relents and pulls it out of his boxers, his hand wrapping tight around the base as he squeezes some hand lotion over the shaft before he starts to stroke up and down over it. His thumb slipping over the head smearing the thick beads of precum over it with each push and pull of his hand. He can’t help but let the feeling of Sam under him, the bulge in his jeans rutting against his thigh fill his brain, the thought of what might have happened if he had let himself work on impulse and not self control. He thinks about kissing Sam’s lips, running his hands up under his shirt to feel that skinny waist, his hard nipples caught between his thumb and forefinger, and how Sam would react to such pleasure as Dean stroked him to orgasm. Dean’s stroking fast and hard, he almost doubles over with need as he feels his balls tighten with his impending orgasm. He’s braces himself against the wall and curls his toes as his orgasm rips through him spilling out in thick white strings onto the tile floor. He holds back an animalistic grunt as he grits his teeth, his eyes clenched tight the only thing he sees behind them is Sam’s face staring encouragingly back at him. His body is limp; his breath is all but small gasps and pants as he tries hard to calm down, to bring himself back to normal before he has to go climb into bed with the object of his desires.

He cleans up the mess on the floor and himself before going back out into the room. He slips under the sheet next to Sam who is lying still like he’s sleeping. He tries hard not to move too much and disturb him as he settles in glad that Sam is asleep and he doesn’t have to deal with any questions.

Sam lies there, quiet and unmoving as Dean climbs into bed. He wants him to think he’s asleep so that there is no awkwardness between them, he doesn’t want to lose the Dean he loves because of this confusing insanity between them or inside of him.

 

Sam is accustomed to waking up to that familiar sound, the sound of the door clicking shut as John quietly leaves without saying a word just leaving a note on the table while they sleep. He opens his eyes to the sound of the Impala idling before slowly pulling away, the sound fading into the distance.

He gets up and stalks across the room to the desk where he finds the note, sparse with words and no return date just a call me if you need me or contact Bobby. Sam drops it back onto the desk, the money his dad had left flying off onto the floor and uncovering several credit cards for emergencies.

“Dad leave again?” Dean croaks out as he rolls over and looks at Sam standing by the desk.

“Yeah, he left his usual note, some money and a few credit cards for emergencies,” Sam says turning to head back to bed. Dean never acts upset but the look on his face is always that of hurt mixed with disgust. Sam always takes it as not being happy about being the designated babysitter and missing out on the hunts yet again.

“Well at least he didn’t take the time to enroll you in school here, one less thing for me to worry about,” Dean says as he rolls back over and covers his head with the blankets.

There are lots of things for Sam to think about even though he tries not to think about them but they invade his brain as he lays there quiet, only the sound of Dean’s heavy breathing filling the room.

The sun is peeking in through the curtains now and Sam’s restless so he gets up and pulls the curtains back to find its snowing. A heavy blanket of snow is on the ground and the flakes are falling so fast it looks like a curtain of white puffy dots shrouding the landscape.

“Shit Dean, get up, it’s SNOWING,” he shouts before running over and shaking Dean.

“What are you going on about now,” Dean says sleepily.

“It’s fucking snow,” Sam says it like he’s never seen snow before, well he hasn’t seen it actually falling just already on the ground turned dirty and slushy by cars on the highway.

“You are awfully giddy about some frozen water that is gonna melt as fast as it hits the ground,” Dean says pessimistically.

“I don’t think this is gonna melt any day soon,” Sam says pulling the curtains all the way back letting the white gleam of the suns reflection into the room.

Dean sits up and looks out at the scene. “Holy fuck Sammy, it’s fucking snowing like I’ve never seen,” Dean turns on the tv and finds a local station where there is a severe Snowstorm warning flashing on the screen. “Says here there could be up to two feet of snow by noon,” he looks at the clock as 9:30 blinks red across the face. “This looks like it’s gonna get bad, better get dressed and walk into town for supplies before it gets any worse,” Dean says as he pulls on his clothes.

Sam stares out the window mesmerized by the snow scene he’s only seen on tv and Christmas cards.

“Well, get dressed Sammy you’re coming with me.”

“Oh yeah, sure,” he says gathering up his duffel.

They’re halfway into town and Sam’s sneakers are soaking wet, Dean’s boots don’t give him much grip on the snow covered ground and both are miserably cold and wet. Sam’s in only his hoodie and Dean’s in his non waterproof leather jacket. The cold wind is chilling them to the bone when they hear a plow come up behind them and then stop.

A burly man with a beard calls out to them. “Yins boys need a lift into town, Imma heading back in?”

Dean looks up at him with a big toothy smile, “Thanks, don’t mind if my brother and I do,” he says opening the door and shoving Sam up in first.

When the truck drops them off in front of the Stop N Shop in the middle of town Dean makes a direct line to the department store across the street. “Come on Sammy, we need some winter gear,” he says sloshing through the salt laden snow covered streets.

Inside the store Dean grabs 2 nice winter coats, some boots and gloves, plus an old fashion style runner sled to pull their supplies back to the motel with. Sam looks at the boots and clears his throat with embarrassment. “Dean, I wear the next size up now,” he says sheepishly.

Dean looks at him with a snarl of disbelief. “What, we just bought you sneakers like two months ago.”

Sam lifts his foot up and wiggles his toes in the shoes. “Yeah and my toes are already to the end, I need the next size up.” He rolls his eyes before continuing. “I also wear longer pants now too; I hit a growth spurt or something,” he’s pointing to the hem just above his shoe tops.

Dean huffs then hands the clerk the boots. “Give me the next size up and a pair of sneakers and up size them too,” He looks back at Sam and shakes his head. “Better stop growing or your not gonna fit in the Impala within a few months,” he laughs.

“How are we going to pay for all of this, Dad only left us $75.00,” Sam asks with concern.

Dean pulls the credit card out of his pocket. “No worries, Dad said for emergencies and I think this constitutes an emergency don’t you?”

Sam shakes his head. “Surprised you didn’t stick a few of those girly magazines in with the mix,” he says pointing at the bookshelves and magazine racks along the wall.

“Gotta love small towns, everything in one quick location,” he says reaching over and grabbing two magazines before paying the bill.

Dressed in their dry clothes they hit the grocery store and load up on supplies since take out is out of the question in a snowstorm. When they come out dragging the loaded down sled behind them, the snow has fallen another half an inch and its not quite afternoon yet. The walk back to the motel is only about a mile but in a foot of snow it might as well be three miles.

The plows aren’t running and nothing is going in or out of town so they are able to move slowly down the center of Main Street as it’s indistinguishable as to what is street and sidewalk. The snow is still coming down just as heavy as before and they can tell in just the short time they’ve been walking a few inches more have fallen.

Halfway back to the motel Sam spies a big hill along the side of the road and gets a childish idea. “I want to sled ride down that hill,” he says pointing a huge smile of wonderment on his face.

“Sammy you’re too old for sled riding,” Dean says brushing him off.

“I want to go sled riding down that hill. It looks like fun and I’ve never done it before,” he insists as he heads off the road and over towards it.

“Sammy we aren’t going sled riding, we are, going back to the motel though. Now come on,” Dean’s insistent, he tugs on Sam’s sleeve even though deep down he would love to go down that hill too.

Sam keeps on walking in the direction of the hill and Dean follows him grumbling the whole way. When they get there Sam unloads the groceries into the snow and trudges up the hill pulling the sled behind him, Dean is right on his heels. There aren’t any words spoken between them at this point and even Dean has stopped complaining under his breath by the time they reach the top.

“It’s a long way down Sammy,” Dean warns before rubbing his gloved hands together with anticipation.

“Wanna ride down with me for my first time,” Sam asks with a huge smile on his face, his moppy wet hair hanging in his eyes and clumped with snow.

“Bottom or Top,” Dean asks with a wide grin.

“Top of course, you can drive,” Sam’s eyes are wide and full of eager excitement.

“I like driving,” Dean says lining up the sled before laying down on it.

Sam stretches out long over Dean, he’s already as tall when he’s not slouching over so that makes him evenly lined up head to toe. “Count down,” he says gripping Dean’s shoulder tight, his face buried in his neck just under his coat collar.

Dean digs his hands deep into the snow until he feels frozen earth, takes a grip and slides them to the edge of the crest then counts down, “1…2….3GO,” he yells as he shoves them off the edge. He can feel Sam digging his fingers into his shoulders, his hot breath panting with anticipation on his neck as they slide over the edge and pick up speed.

Its like a crazy swooshing experience for Sam his body pressed into Dean’s, the smell of his skin mixed with the wet leather from his Jacket still lingers and his voice as he whoops all the way down the hill have Sam pushing harder into Dean’s body. His groin shoving into Dean’s ass where the coat has risen up, their jean clad bodies moving and pressing with each swoop of the sled as Dean navigates them down the slope.

It’s what sex on a waterbed must feel like Sam thinks as his cock grows hard in his jeans. He can’t help it, the smell of Dean mixed with the excitement, warmth of his body bleeding through their layers and the way the sled is making him bounce and push into Dean’s body makes it very hard to contain the arousal he has.

Dean is concentrating on steering the sled but he can’t help but feel Sam’s weight bearing down on him, how his hips are grinding into his ass with each bump, the way his breath hitches then blows hot across the back of his neck and he feels his cock pressing into the wooden slats of the sled. He doesn’t want to fight it but he has to focus on the path they are cutting down the hill.

It’s less than a minute when they come back to where they started but it feels like an hour since they climbed on top of the sled and started the ride down. Sam is laughing with glee as he rolls off of Dean’s back into the snow, panting out each excited laugh.

It’s infectious and Dean starts to laugh too. He rolls off the sled beside Sam. “Wanna do it again,” he asks breathlessly.

Sam jumps up and grabs the sled. “Hell Yeah! Race you to the top,” Sam says grappling for footing in the snow as he runs up the steep slope.

Its four more rides down in an ever growing snow blanket, they have snow down inside of their coats, jeans, and boots. Sam’s bangs are soaked and plastered to his forehead and snow fills his hood, when he puts it up for some coverage snow rains down over his face and neck. Dean full out roars at this but the same thing happens to him when he puts his up and Sam gives him no mercy either. They are giddier than they have ever been, like two little kids playing in the snow without any cares in the world.

The last trip down Dean is distracted by Sam’s lips pressed to the back of his neck and the way he is whispering I love you man, into it. His heart is racing as Sam slips his hands off of his shoulders and around his chest to the inside of his coat between the snaps. He’s caught off guard and loses control on the final bump. They fly over it landing with a mighty thud that throws them off the sled tipping it sideways and it lands on top of them. Sam never lets go of Dean, he pulls him right over top of him, their bodies crashing into the deep snow drifts with a sled landing on top of them.

They are both laughing so hard they can’t move. Dean gets his breath and manages to say, “You okay Sammy?”

“Yeah I’m fine,” he says breathlessly.

When Dean starts to roll over Sam’s hand pulls the snaps open on Dean’s jacket. Sam stops laughing and his big broad smile turns to a more serious grin, their eyes meet and lock on each other. Dean slips his glove off and runs his warm fingers down over Sam’s cheek brushing the snow off of it and uncovering his deep dimples. He swallows hard as he watches Sam’s mouth when his tongue slips out to lick at his reddened cold lips. He brushes Sam’s bangs off of his face and looks deep into his eyes. “What are we doing here Sam,” he asks the question not waiting for an answer before he leans in and kisses Sam soft on the lips. The gentle brush of heat as they push together sends Dean over the edge and even though his cock has been half hard for almost an hour, it’s raging now and begging for attention.

Sam relishes the heat as Dean pushes his tongue gently between his lips to slick just inside of his mouth. He feels the urgent push of hips after they break apart and his head is reeling with desire. Pulling his glove off he puts his hand on Dean’s chest feeling his heart beating quick and steady. He smiles up at Dean, his eyes fixed on the freckles across the bridge of his nose like he’s never seen them before. He pushes up kissing at the hollow in Dean’s throat. His cock is hard and ready to be stroked off but he ignores its urgent jerks to relish in this moment with Dean.

They are laying in the snow, their bodies pressed tight, lips brushing and teasing as hands slip and slide under coats searching for flesh, their desire to the point of no return and all they want is to make each other cum at this very moment.

Suddenly a voice breaks the quiet. “Hey, you alright up there?”

Dean looks over hearing a man yelling from a plow truck and he scrambles off of Sam and stands up. “Yeah, we’re fine. Been sled riding and wrecked is all,” he calls back as he buttons his coat back up as quickly as possible.

“Better get inside I hear it’s gonna get worse. An ice storm is coming,” The man yells.

“Thanks, we’ll do that.” Sam yells picking up the sled and waving at the man.

They wave good-bye and decide that it’s best to get back to the motel as fast as possible.

They shake the snow off of themselves outside the door before going inside. Their clothes are wet, their feet are wet and they are more frozen than they realized. Sam sheds his clothes down to his boxers and crawls into bed to get warm. “Come on Dean, get in, warm up,” he says turning the covers back.

Dean looks over at him, Sam’s cheeks are flushed red, and his hair is wet. He has a huge smile across his face that is making his dimples like huge crevasses so deep he could lose a finger inside one if he poked it. “Someone’s got to put the groceries away,” he says fighting the urge to just jump into bed and pick up where they left off.

“Make it quick then,” Sam huffs out.

“It’ll go faster if you help me Sammy,” Dean says unpacking the bags.

Sam jumps up and grabs the bags with the refrigerator contents in them and shoves them into the mini refrigerator before running back over and climbing into the bed. Now nothing is gonna melt, get in bed,” he commands.

Dean laughs as he strips out of his wet clothes and climbs between the sheets. His cold feet mingle with Sam’s as he turns to face him. Sam is already turned on his side with an expectant look on his face.

“So, you kissed me back there,” Sam says as he licks his lips like he’s readying them for another.

“If I remember correctly you kissed me back,” Dean says leaning in close, their eyes locked in a heated gaze.

Sam feels giddy, he’s never kissed anyone before, never been this close to anyone he wanted to kiss before. The truth be told, he hasn’t ever really thought about his sexual preference before, all he knows is that when he started having sexual fantasies Dean was always at the root of them. He tried to pass it off as the fact that he’d never seen a girl naked in real life except for the few times he’d peeked through the window at Dean having sex. So it only seemed normal for him to have Dean in his fantasies fucking the girls he was so obviously fantasizing about.

Dean’s hand caresses Sam’s cheek. He lets his fingers run over the thick ridges of Sam’s dimple before leaning in to kiss it, a tender warm kiss that trails down to Sam’s lips.

It’s slow and soft, the warm kneading of their lips. The slight suction, exchanging tongues as Dean teaches Sam how to kiss with desire. Sam’s a quick learner; he abandons eager pressing and licking whenever Dean refuses to respond to it, only keeping his slow steady pace.

Dean’s hands trace the long lean muscle of Sam’s body. He strokes tenderly over his ribcage, down his tight abdomen, across to the slender hips covered with cotton boxers. He dips his fingers slowly under the waistband stroking the indentation along the hip bone to Sam’s hairline. The thin streak of pubic hair along the top of his pelvis is soft like down and Dean lingers there feeling the soft curls.

Sam’s hands fumble over Dean’s back. His fingers stroking over the smooth flesh then up into the soft hairs at the nape of Dean’s neck. He’s unsure and unsteady. He fumbles with his hand movements, kisses a bit too hard, licks a bit too sloppily but Dean just keeps his pace, urging Sam to follow his lead and he does. Slow kisses, light press of lips, soft slip of tongue over the opening of Dean’s closed mouth and gentle moaning with the tantalizing pressure.

Dean tastes good, he feels amazing and Sam’s cock is so hard it hurts. It’s never been this hard before and he doesn’t know what to do so he tilts his hips up into Dean’s hand as it explores his groin. He wants to thrust up urgently, rock back and forth over Dean’s callused hand and beg him to stroke it but he knows Dean’s trying to teach him what your first time should be like so he goes with it, only swiveling his hips slightly at the touches he’s getting.

Slipping his hand lower Dean feels the base of Sam’s cock. It’s hard and thick and trapped in a downward angle pressing up against the cotton confines of his boxers. He continues kissing Sam, holding his head with one hand and starting to stroke him off with the other.

His hand starts to tickle up over the shaft to reposition it for a better stroking angle when Dean is struck with a sudden realization that he’s never done this before. His hand falters at the base with a loose grip barely encircling the shaft. He feels Sam tilt his hips forward and move them in slow circles begging for more, for some kind of friction, for anything but the non existent touching he’s getting but Dean can’t do it, his mind is too full of other thoughts.

He can’t remember ever being attracted to a guy before. He remembers his first time when he was 15 with an older woman who was in her 20’s and from there on out it’s been women. He can’t even remember a time when he masturbated that a dude even crept into his fantasies, well unless he was watching porn but then it’s a given since you’re watching a dude fuck a chick on screen. What makes him so hot for Sam, why does he want to touch, taste and explore every inch of Sammy? He feels his lips go absolutely still as his mouth tries hard to catch up with his brain but Sam’s insistent tongue continues to plunder Dean’s mouth as his hips grind into Dean’s hand and thigh. Dean’s cock is hard and that isn’t faltering even with his newfound questions.

Sam breaks the kiss with a protest. “Dean, what’s wrong, did I do something wrong,” Sam asks his confidence fading into fear of rejection.

Dean blinks and looks into Sam’s pleading eyes blown dark with lust, want and need. He feels Sam’s heat in the palm of his hand twitching and it’s both exciting and scary all at once. He realizes he’s a virgin in this scenario too and that makes him laugh a little. “No Sammy you’re doing everything just right,” He says quietly before kissing Sam gently on the forehead.

Smiling Sam changes his attention from Dean’s mouth to his neck kissing a line of tiny kisses down his throat to his collarbone then across his shoulder and back up again. His hips are gyrating a little faster now and he feels Dean let go of his cock and push into him with his whole body.

Gasping at the tiny kisses Sam’s giving him Dean arches his back and presses into Sam completely. His cock is hard against Sam’s thigh and it’s the warmest most exciting feeling he’s had in years. His hand leaves Sam’s cock and snakes around his waist to pull him in close and hold him tight as he begins to rut into him hard and fast.

Sam’s body moves in rhythm with Dean’s, their bodies writhing and twisting into each other as they grind their cocks together.

Dean’s hands hold Sam tight, his mouth planting kisses up and down the column of Sam’s long thin neck.

Sam grunts and moans at the feeling of Dean’s heat on his neck, the hard push of thigh and cock into his own neediness and it’s not long at all before he’s cumming hot and sticky inside of his boxers.

“Oh shit Dean I am gonna,” He can’t even get the entire sentence out before he’s over the edge.

“It’s okay Sammy cum for me,” Dean whispers into his flesh. He is just as close to cumming and knowing that Sam just came on his thigh as the hot wet bleeds through the thin cotton boxers makes him grind even harder and needier.

His cock is jerking and leaking as he moans and grunts with sounds of pleasure. “Fuck Sammy so fucking good,” he curses into Sam’s neck pressing hard into it.

Sam slips his hand between them and pushes with his palm into Dean’s erection. He feels the thickness slipping up and down inside of Dean’s underwear and he likes the way it feels against his palm. Their wetness mingling on his flesh from his cum and Dean’s precum and he can’t wait to feel Dean cum onto his hand.

Dean picks the pace up, his hips rocking harder into Sam’s hand as it’s pressed tight to his cock. He grunts and moans breathlessly into Sam’s flesh. “Jesus, fuck Sammy,” he cries out before he cums all over himself and Sam’s warm hand pressed against him.

They lie pressed together, panting breathlessly as they stare into each others eyes trying to make sense of what just happened. Neither says a word, neither moves a muscle as they come down from their orgasm highs.

Sam examines Dean’s face, the way his freckles stand out against the flush in his cheeks, how green his eyes get right after he cums, the way his lips get flushed red and fall slightly slack as he pants out long hard breaths and how the sweat gathers on the tips of his very long eyelashes. He always knew Dean was more handsome than him, but now he knows that he is downright beautiful.

“I didn’t know it could be like that,” Sam says breaking the silence between them.

“I don’t think I ever came that hard before,” Dean says rolling over onto his back.

Sam rolls over to drape himself over Dean’s chest. “Will it always be like this, ya know, between us,” Sam asks peppering tiny kisses over Dean’s chest.

Dean looks down at Sam and smiles at the way his hair is hanging in his eyes and how he looks so innocent with his head resting on his chest. “I don’t know Sammy. I know I don’t want to hurt you in any way and I’m not sure if this is going to hurt us or not,” Dean says with a serious tone to his voice. His arm is holding Sam close as he paints invisible circles across his shoulder blades.

Sam looks into Dean’s eyes and smiles at him with a reassuring grin. “I’m not going to get hurt if you’re not going to try to hurt me, I trust you Dean.”

Dean lays his head back on the pillow and closes his eyes, he takes a deep breath as he strokes Sam’s back lightly with his fingertips. “You know I love you, right,” he says with a hint of fear behind his statement. He doesn’t know what this means, how this will change them, or what happens next. All Dean really knows is that this thing with Sam is different and he would do anything to protect Sam from harm even if the he has to protect Sam from Dean himself.

It’s later that day when Sam’s stomach wakes him up with a loud growl. He untangles himself from Dean’s arms and tiptoes over to the bags of food.

He’s rummaging through the bags of food when Dean gives a quiet laugh. “Teenage stomach get the best of you,” Dean says as he rolls out of bed to rummage through the bags for food too.

“What I wouldn’t give for pizza delivery right now,” Sam says opening a bag of potato chips and popping a warm can of Pepsi.

Dean grabs a can of soda too as they climb back into bed.

They sit pressed into each other, the bag of chips resting between them on their legs while having their afternoon snack. Dean thinks about turning on the television but decides not to.

Sam looks at him and grins. “You can watch TV Dean, I don’t care,” he says as he stuffs a handful of chips into his mouth and swallows them with a gulp of soda.

“Nah, I think I want to just have some time with you and take a shower, cause I feel a bit crusty at the moment,” he shifts his underwear around the dried cum making the fabric stiff.

“I’m so used to having stiff boxers from cuming in them it doesn’t even bother me anymore,” Sam says disconcertedly.

“What, when, huh,” Dean says with shock. “And when does this shit happen?”

“At night when you’re asleep and I’m too lazy to get out of bed to go to the bathroom to jerk off, or when the bathroom is occupied and I can’t wait, sometimes when we’re in the Impala and I get hard from a dream or whatever I’ll rub one off through my jeans so you and Dad don’t notice. Lots of times, its like normal for me,” Sam says it like it’s the most normal thing in the world.

“I’m not washing your boxers anymore,” Dean says dryly making a disgusted face. “Now you have a new job, your own laundry Mr. Jizzinmypants.”

“Whatever,” Sam says shrugging while continuing to stuff handfuls of chips into his mouth.

“You’re such a teenager,” Dean says leaning over to kiss Sam’s overstuffed cheek.

They spend all day in bed, just pressed against each other, as the television plays in the background to their nonsensical goofing off and conversations. They weren’t sure what this was, if it was right or where it might be taking them but they did know that they wanted it or maybe deep down just needed it more than they realized.

When Dean awoke to his phone ringing he had to untangle himself from Sam’s limbs wrapped tightly around him. He was used to Sam’s long arms enveloping him while he was asleep but now it seemed more tender and much more intimate then ever before.

Freeing himself from Sam’s grip he manages to reach his phone before it goes to voicemail. “Hello,” he whispers, there’s a sleepy crackle to his voice.

“Dean,” The voice says.

“Dad,” Dean questions.

“Yeah Son, I don’t have much time and you’re breaking up, but I can’t get back because of the storm, it might be a few more days until I can get through the roads. Are you alr.t..ho..is..Sa…” John’s voice is breaking up with each word before the connection breaks completely.

“Dad,” Dean calls into the phone. “Dad,” he says it again before hanging up.

Dean’s loud voice wakes Sam. “What’s wrong?” he questions sleepily.

“That was Dad on the phone, he called to say he won’t be home for a few days because of the storm and then the phone went dead,” Dean throws the phone on the nightstand and lies back down to stare at the ceiling.

“Don’t worry Dean; I’m sure he’s somewhere safe. You know Dad; he wouldn’t have called if he wasn’t in a safe place” Sam kisses Dean reassuringly on the forehead.

“Yeah, I know that,” he says as he gently caresses the side of Sam’s face.

Sam puts his head on Dean’s chest as they fall back to sleep.

It’s cold and the snow falls periodically over the next few days. The blanket is deep and the town seems to come to a halt, all but the grocery store and supply store. Dean and Sam make a few trips in to town just to break the boredom of being trapped in the motel room.

Sam sits snuggled close to Dean on the bed as he reads a book Dean bought him at the supply store. It’s a cheap cowboy novel but because Dean bought it for him, it could have been a Pulitzer Prize winning novel as far he was concerned.

Keeping an arm tight around Sam while watching Jerry Springer Dean relaxes and doesn’t worry about anything, he just lets the warmth of Sam bleed through his clothes and surround him under the heavy blankets over their legs.

It’s been over a week now since they heard from John and Dean’s tried to call him a few times but only gets his voicemail. The snow’s stopped but it’s been too cold to melt anything and according to the news the storms moving eastward making the highways basically impassable. He’s not sure if John went east but he says a little silent prayer to whoever might be listening to him that morning to keep his dad safe.

It’s two am three days later when John stumbles through the door, snow covered and growling like a bear.

Dean jumps out of bed forgetting that he’s only in his boxers and that they have a wet stain on them from his and Sam’s frotting session just about an hour before.  
Sam turns over sleepily and stares at his father in the dimly lit room. “Dad,” he says rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

Dean quickly pulls on his t-shirt and pajama bottoms before turning on the lamp. “Dad,” he says straightening up. “You should have called to let us know, I mean.”

John stops him, “I didn’t want to wake you boys and I wasn’t sure how far I would get, but I got here,” he says shedding his coat and boots inside the door. “I just want a hot shower and a warm bed,” he says heading for the bathroom.

Once the door shuts and the lock clicks, Sam jumps out of bed to rummage through his duffle for clean underwear and pajamas. Dean does the same before jumping back into the bed. Sam lays on his side of the bed and Dean on his while they refuse to touch anywhere in the middle or even remotely close to each other.

When John comes out of the bathroom his hair is damp and his beard has been trimmed. He climbs into bed without a word and within minutes he’s snoring.

Dean rolls over and whispers to Sam, “You awake?”

“Yeah,” Sam says rolling over to face him.

“What are we going to do now,” Dean itches to touch Sam, to hold him close, to feel his heat but he restrains himself.

“We play it cool and act like we always do,” Sam says. He moves his hand across the divide, across the center of the mattress searching for Dean’s hand; he finds it, takes it and caresses the back of it reassuringly with his thumb.

There aren’t any more words between them as they fall back asleep, still facing each other, their hands hidden beneath the sheet and blankets locked in a tight grasp.

It’s only one more day in Sunshine Valley before they are packing up the Impala and hitting the open road again for the next big lead.

~~~~~~~~~//\\\~~~~~~~~~  
~~~~~~~~~\\\//~~~~~~~~~

  
They’ve been on the road for 3 days, sleeping in the car for two of them and tonight John has informed them that once again the Impala is their bedroom.

Dean climbs into the backseat after getting a blanket out of the trunk. “We’re going to have to share, there’s only two,” he says handing one up to his Dad in the front seat.

Sam smiles at him as he readjusts himself to let Dean stretch out across the back of the seat before he stretches out in front of him and pushes back into his body. “It’s okay; we’ve had to share before,” he says innocently.

Dean covers them with the blanket; he takes his time tucking it around Sam’s waist and down his legs. He lets his hands linger and roam the area of Sam’s crotch. He can feel Sam’s dick hardening as he rubs over it under the pretenses of smoothing out the blanket.

Sam’s trying hard not to moan into the touch but he can’t help but move his hips forward into the soft press of Dean’s palm. He closes his eyes and imagines looking into Dean’s eyes, the soft feel of his lips on his as they kiss desperately while rocking into each other. It’s been four nights since Dean last touched him, that he last touched Dean and it felt more like it’s been forever now that it’s happening again.

Dean jerks his hand away and shoves himself down behind Sam when John stirs and throws his hand over the back of seat before peeking over it. “Night boys,” he says before lying back down again.

“Night Dad,” they say in unison and then giggle at it.

“Jinx, you owe me a coke,” they say in unison again.

They start to giggle uncontrollably but when John clears his throat. “Boys,” he says gruffly and that’s all it takes for them to calm down again.

Dean whispers as quietly as possible into Sam’s ear, “Once Dad’s asleep, I’m gonna make you cum all through your jeans,” he gently nips Sam’s earlobe before relaxing into the back of the seat again.

Sam smiles as he pushes his ass hard into Dean’s crotch and wiggles it. “We’ll see about whose coming where first,” he whispers it so low that it’s almost inaudible.

Pushing into Sam’s ass Dean tightens his grip around Sam’s waist to hold him close and keep him from moving around too much. “Wait til Dad’s completely out,” he whispers into Sam’s neck before letting his lips suck softly over the long expanse of it.

“It better be quick,” Sam says mewling softly into the warm kisses.

As quietly as possible Dean continues to move his mouth down onto Sam’s shoulder; he’s pushing his chin beneath the worn fabric of Sam’s t-shirt and hoodie to make his way across Sam’s broad shoulder. The muscle pulls taut as Sam shifts his head to expose the full expanse of his neck giving Dean complete access to his flesh which Dean takes full advantage of. His lips ghost over the smooth hot flesh before his tongue starts to lave across the thick lines of Sam’s collarbone. Dean revels in the scent, slightly musky yet thick with cologne scented deodorant and he wants to bury his face in it forever.

Sam’s hands reach behind him to find Dean’s hipbone pressed tight against him, the heat is burning through the layers of thick fabric to reach his skin. His hand runs along the thick seam down the outside of Dean’s leg, fingers tracing the line as far as he can reach and then back up again. He can feel Dean moving under his touches, his hips undulating into him as Sam reaches around and finds Dean’s ass and squeezes hard before letting go.

It’s all hands and mouths teasing desperate flesh, building the need of their secret desire. Until now foreplay hasn’t played much into what they do, but tonight, the game is changing with hands and mouths that beg desperately for the others affections.

It’s like they are on fire, the blanket smothering them in the balmy heat of desire. Dean tries hard not to make noises as he devours Sam’s flesh with his mouth while Sam uses nails and rough touches over his legs and exposed belly flesh. Sam has to bite his lower lip and cover his nose and mouth with his free hand to keep from whining at the desperate nips and hot laps of Dean’s tongue over his prickly flesh.

Dean has his mind on Sam but his ear on John; he’s listening for him to go to sleep, to hit a deep slumber so that he can be a little less innocuous with Sam.

Sam’s hands are searching for Dean’s flesh, feeling under his waistband to the soft line of hair that is tucked away under there. His fingers graze over the curls and Dean bucks into the feeling, trapping Sam’s hand in his jeans, he growls just a little at the touch and bites a little harder into Sam’s neck. Sam flinches with the painful pleasure and lets out a tiny moan.

Dean’s hand is under the blanket and fumbling with Sam’s jeans, he wants them open because tonight, pressed up against Sam in the back of the Impala with their Dad snoring on the front seat, he’s going to actually jerk Sam off. He’s going to actually touch his cock for the first time, give him skin to skin contact instead of rutting against him through their boxers. He wants to feel the weight of it in his hand, the hot swollen flesh on his palm and have Sam cum over his fingers. He wants to experience Sam sexually in all of its intimacy.

The sound of John snoring softly echoes over the seat. Dean smiles at the sounds and makes his grip around Sam tighter before loudly whispering into his ear. “I’m gonna jerk you off and make you cum so hard that every time you think of my hand on your dick you’ll cum without being touched.”

Sam quivers at the words. He’s anxious for the touch, he wants this, and he’s wanted it now for about a week. He feels Dean’s warm fingers snake down beneath his boxer shorts and fumble with his hard cock. His hand is rubbing over the damp swollen head making Sam clench with the touch. Dean’s hand grasps Sam thick cock wrapping his fingers around it loosely before beginning to stroke it, the precum smearing down the shaft making for an easier glide. Sam starts to rock into the movements, his ass grinding into Dean and rubbing over the thick line in his jeans. Sam’s hand is still tucked firmly into Dean’s jeans but with not enough access to do anything but pull and tickle the line of hairs.

Sam’s cock is warm and heavy in Dean’s hand. He feels huge, so much bigger than normal for someone of his age but until now he really didn’t have anyone else to gage it by except himself at that age. Dean’s stroking slow and meaningfully, soaking in every small noise, jerky spasm, and quiver Sam’s body makes while reacting to his touch. He loves all of them. To make Sammy feel like this, respond like this, has Dean hard and leaking. Sam’s fingers playing with his hairline is sending insane tingles straight to his cock and all he wants to do is buck into every tingling sensation.

It’s hard to not scream out or moan loudly without Dean’s mouth covering his so Sam bites his lips between his teeth and shoves his body so deep into Dean’s that it feels like he’s going to push him through the seat. His hand is amazing, the tight squeezing as he drags it up and over the head like he’s milking it. “Fucking intense Dean, so fucking intense,” he moans out and not in a quiet tone.

“Shhhh Sammy, I got you,” Dean says as he licks the shell of Sam’s ear.

It’s like fireworks when Sam cums, his cock jerking inside of Dean’s tight grasp, an uncontrollable spasm as he’s bucking his hips forward with abandon. He’s now clutching the edge of the front seat as he moans through clenched lips as Dean’s working him through the insane pleasure.

Sam’s limp and falls relaxed into Dean. His body is like a rag doll. He barely feels Dean slipping his hand out of his pants until he feels the rapid movements against his ass. “Are you jerking yourself off,” he asks Dean.

“I got it Sammy, just relax,” Dean’s grunting quietly with each word, his breath is hitching in his throat as he increases the speed of his hand.

“Hell no,” Sam says shifting around as fast as he can to face Dean. He looks into his half lidded eyes and shoves his hand down the front of his open jeans. Dean’s hand is working fast but Sam puts his hand over it folding his fingers around Dean’s as he moves in unison with each urgent thrust of Dean’s fist.

“Fuck Sammy, that’s so fucking hot,” Dean says as he feels Sam’s thumb hitting the mushroomed edge of his cock. He’s not sure how much longer he can hold on now that Sam’s actually working his cock. He pulls Sam in tight to his body and claims his mouth with a demanding kiss. He crashes his hips into Sam’s body as he cums hot and sticky over their intertwined fingers. His quiet moans are swallowed up by Sam’s mouth as he swirls his tongue over Dean’s before pulling off.

The world and everything around them has slipped away as they stare into each others eyes, their bodies melted together under the dirty brown blanket they’ve shared so many times before. It’s quiet, only the sound of their hearts beating in a fast rhythm fills the space around them as they gently smooth their hands over each others hips.

When Sam breaks the silence its like glass shattering into a million pieces making them crash back to earth, “I have to pee,” he says as he’s nuzzling Dean’s nose Eskimo style.

Dean breaks out into laughter. “Oh Sammy, you’re so precious.”

Sam frowns then smiles. “Glad my bladder gives you joy,” he says sarcastically.

“It’s not your bladder that gives me joy,” Dean winks at Sam before pecking him on the lips. “Now get the hell out and pee before you piss on me, I’m not into Water sports.”

“Water Sports,” Sam asks with innocence.

“Not tonight Sam,” Dean says sitting up to button up his fly while Sam crawls out of the car.

John stirs and his voice comes over the front seat, “What’s wrong boys?”

Dean pulls his jacket closed and puts his hand over the wet spot on his jeans. “Nothing sir, Sam had to pee is all.”

“And you let him go out there alone,” John asks sleepily.

“No sir,” Dean says climbing out of the car.

Sam’s peeing into the bushes when Dean walks up behind him and touches his shoulder. Sam spins around in shock, his pee stream going wild. “What the fuck Dean,” he says with annoyance before regaining his control and aiming away from Dean.

“Hey watch it, you almost got me with that stuff,” Dean says laughing. “Dad says I have to watch over you,” he says leaning over to look at Sam’s dick.

“Yeah, but I bet if he knew you were staring at my dick, he’d have other plans for you, like the belt.”

Dean winces at that thought. He looks over his shoulder to see if his Dad was watching them. “He’s out like a light, no worries.” Dean looks back down at Sam’s dick as he shakes it off and tucks it away. “Nice, really is bigger than I would have guessed,” he says winking at Sam.

“Glad you noticed,” Sam says walking over to the car to get back in.

 

~~~~~~~~~//\\\~~~~~~~~~  
~~~~~~~~~\\\//~~~~~~~~~

 

Dean took his GED in South Dakota while they were staying with Bobby for a few months. He keeps his diploma taped to the back door of the Impala and often points to it and then himself with a huge smile of accomplishment.

Sam’s fifteenth birthday was kind of unforgettable even though to this day he won’t admit to not remembering any of it.

Their Dad is on yet another hunt so he’s alone with Dean somewhere in the backwoods of Arkansas. Dean gets the very intelligent idea to get Sam drunk at a backwoods bar on honky tonk night for his birthday.

The motel is about a mile down the road from Good Ol Boys Honky Tonk, Dean’s plan is to take Sam there to celebrate his fifteenth birthday in style.

“Come on Sammy get dressed in something smarter than your hoodie and sneakers. You have that nice button down Dad bought you for that spelling bee thing back in Bristol, wear that with your special jeans,” Dean says picking the clothes out of Sam’s duffle and laying them on the bed.

“I don’t wanna go to a bar, they are never gonna serve me, I’m a minor,” Sam says with protest.

“If you haven’t noticed we are in the backwoods of Arkansas, no fucking way these inbred hillbillies are gonna not serve you liquor. You’re old enough to marry your sister in these here parts boy,” Dean says with a thick southern drawl.

“I don’t want to marry my sister, I want to fuck my brother,” he says smiling wide as he pulls off his sweatshirt exposing miles of lean muscle.

“Damn Sam, I swear you get taller every day, your body is like a mile long now,” Dean says licking his lips at the view.

“And uncoordinated,” Sam says with a frown.

“Nah, it’s just perfect,” Dean says reaching over to run his fingertips across Sam’s hipbone as he sheds his jeans.

Dressed in his white button down shirt, dress jeans, and clean sneakers, Sam’s ready to go.

Its dark out and being the backwoods, streetlights aren’t showing them the way. The moon is bright and the Cicada buzz loudly as Sam and Dean are walking up the dirt road to the bar.

When they enter they look around, there’s a band playing music while people are dancing, people chatting at tables and three empty stools at the bar, they head for the bar immediately.

The bartender steps up; he’s a burly man with a thick black beard and bald head. “Wot ya havin fella’s,” he asks with a heavy accent.

“Two shots of Southern comfort and two beers,” Dean says pulling out his wallet.

“All we got here boy is rot gut corn mash from the hills,” the man says setting two shot glasses and a brown jug up on the bar.

Dean swallows hard and gives Sam a wide eyed look before clearing his throat, “Sounds good, make that four shots and two beers.”

Sam stares at his shots sitting in front of him and then over at Dean who is looking quite hesitant at his drinks too. Sam sips his warm beer and coughs. “Seriously Dean,” he chokes out.

Dean laughs as he lifts the first shot to his lips. “Gotta bite the bullet sometime,” he says tilting his head and the entire shot back into his mouth. He swallows, face turning beet red the whole way to his ears and he lets out a stifled cough and exhale. “Smooth,” he manages to choke out as he pounds on his chest.

Lifting his shot to his lips Sam takes a deep breath before closing his eyes and downing the shot. He swallows but his throat immediately catches on fire, he exhales hard and coughs like he’s about to puke clutching the bar for dear life. He looks up at Dean with tears in his eyes as his mouth gapes open gasping for air.

“Happy Birthday Sammy,” Dean says with a huge smile on his face as he downs the second shot, shakes his head and pulls in a hard intake of air through his teeth before letting it out in one loud puff. “This stuff is gonna get us good and drunk.”

“Set em up again barkeep,” Dean says slapping the bar with his palm. He’s been saying that now for about five rounds and each time his speech slurs just a little bit more.

Sam’s face down on the bar, the room is spinning and the music is thrumming in his head. He looks over at the band and sees the lead singer and guitar player then glances over at Dean with a huge grin. “Hey, that singer is kinda cute,” he says with very slurred speech. He sits up and starts to bob his head to the music.

“Who, long hair over there,” Dean says looking around. “He ain’t bad, but he ain’t no me,” Dean says grabbing Sam’s arm in a possessive manner.

“Relax Dean, it’s my birthday, I can look. I don’t get out all that often, I need to broaden my horizons,” Sam’s waxing poetic now but only with slurred speech and equally as fluid movements. He slides off the barstool and sways out to the dance floor.

“Not a good idea Sammy,” Dean says as he follows him onto the floor.

Sam’s giddy drunk and as Dean is about to find out, a very touchy feely one too.

Spinning around wobbly on his heels Sam comes face to face with Dean. “Wanna dance with the birthday boy,” he says grabbing Dean’s jacket collar.

“This isn’t the place for this Sammy,” Dean says seriously as he takes Sam’s hands off of his jacket.

“Band, dance floor, birthday. I’d say it’s the right place,” he says throwing his arms around Dean’s neck. “Come on give me a kiss,” he puckers up and tries to lean into Dean’s mouth.

 

“Knock it off Sammy,” Dean sobers up quickly. Sam’s drawing unwanted attention. “His twenty first birthday, he’s never been drinking before,” he says smiling and making a joke of the situation.

“You’d kiss me at home,” Sam blurts out loudly as he makes a pouting face.

Dean pulls him off of the dance floor. “Sammy not now, these people are not going to take kindly to our being gay with each other.”

“But its not just gay, its incestuous gay, they like incestuousnessesss,” he says falling forward into Dean as he tries to poke him in the chest for effect.

“Oh Sammy,” Dean says as he hauls him up in his arms. “Time to go home,” he says as he drags him out the door and onto the road.

One mile is a long walk with a very drunk Sam in your arms but they make it back to the motel no worse for the wear.

Dean throws Sam on the bed and flops down on the opposite bed exhausted and still a little drunk from the moonshine.

Sam raises his head off the bed. “Tell me your gonna dance with me baby,” he croaks out not even realizing he’s not at the bar anymore.  
“Not tonight Sammy,” Dean says rubbing his hand over his face.

Sam manages to get up and stand over Dean; he’s swaying from side to side as his hands fumble to unbutton his clean white shirt. “If you’re not going to dance with me, then its time you fucked me,” he says with a commanding tone.

“Sam what do you know about fucking,” he asks sitting up on the edge of the bed.

“I know the internet at the library says you put your dick up my ass and it feels good. Make me feel good Dean,” Sam says falling to his knees between Deans’ legs.

“Sam what have you been doing,” Dean says shocked, he’d never given any thought of putting his cock in a guys ass.  
“Reading up on what gay men like to do for sex. They also like blowjobs; want me to suck your cock Dean,” he asks licking his lips and leaning forward to mouth at Dean’s crotch.

“Jesus Sammy,” Dean says leaning back on the bed a little. He can’t believe he’s getting hard at the thought of Sam’s mouth on his cock. He takes Sam’s head and lifts it up to look in his eyes. “You really want to do this,” he asks.

“Yes Dean, I do,” he says earnestly.

Dean opens his jeans and lets Sam take out his hard cock. Sam holds it, examining it like he’s never seen one before. “It’s not going to talk to you Sammy,” Dean says watching Sam being curious.

“I know Dean, but I’ve never seen yours up close before and it’s fucking amazing. I like how it curves upward. Mine doesn’t do that,” Sam says as he reaches down and opens his jeans to pull out his cock. “See, it’s straight, longer and thinner than yours.”

Laughing, Dean kisses Sam’s forehead. “I guess they’re all different,” he laughs.

Sam laughs a little before swiping his tongue over the head of Dean’s cock and making a lascivious noise. “MMMM, didn’t think it would taste so good,” he says diving in for another taste.

Dean lets himself fall back onto the bed, he’s far too blissed out from the feeling of Sam’s wide wet tongue laving at his cock to be able to hold himself up. “Fuck Sammy,” he moans out.

Sam’s sucking on the head like it’s a lollipop, swirling it around his lips and popping it out for several laps. “Mmmmm,” he moans out with each suckle and lap.

“Suck it down Sammy. Take my cock all the way,” Dean says reaching down to hold Sam’s head in place.

Sam kisses the slit before opening his mouth and letting the head slip inside then slowly sliding it back over his tongue enjoying the feel of it as he wiggles his tongue back and forth.

“Holy shit Sammy, how the fuck,” Dean hisses out.

“Internet,” he says with his mouth stuffed full of cock.

“You have to show me the internet sometime,” Dean says bucking his hips into Sam’s mouth.

Sam stops moving his head as he falls off to the side. Dean sits up panicked. “Shit Sammy, are you okay,” he says shaking him. Sam starts to snore and falls limply to the floor. Dean starts to laugh. “I guess you’re just fine,” he says hauling his limp body up onto the bed before pulling off his shoes and tucking him in.

The air conditioner is making a terrible clanking noise and it wakes Sam up. He opens his eyes to the room full of blinding sunlight streaming through the open curtains. His head is pounding, his body hurts and his mouth tastes like he had a trash can’s contents for supper the night before. He looks around the room with squinted eyes barely able to see anything for the blaring light in his face.

Dean’s sitting on the love seat across the room when he hears Sam’s moans. “Good morning Sunshine,” he says cheerfully.

“What happened to me Dean,” Sam says forcing himself to sit up on the edge of the bed. The room starts to spin and he gets a terribly nauseous feeling in his stomach. He puts his head in his hands hoping it will help.

“Hangover Sammy, you got yourself pretty drunk last night,” Dean says loudly.

Sam’s head is ringing with Dean’s voice and the air conditioner, not to mention his nausea and complete intolerance of light. “How much did I drink,” he asks with a whisper.

“Enough,” Dean replies dryly. “Moonshine up at that bar, don’t you remember?”

Sam thinks hard trying to remember the night before but the last thing he remembers is the awful taste of the homemade whisky they served him, and then it seems to be all foggy from there. “Yeah sure, Pfffttt I remember. Why wouldn’t I remember,” he says with very little confidence.

“Just wondered, cause you were pretty hammered. Ya know dancing and flirting with the older women,” Dean looks at him out of the corner of his eye, watching Sam’s expression turn into confusion.

Sam’s furrowing his brow and trying to remember flirting with women. “Yeah they were some nice ladies,” he says as he feigns having the memories. His mind is racing to bring any of them back.

“Yeah, I thought you were going to get your cherry popped by one of them with the way they were hanging all over you, kissing you and rubbing their breasts on you,” Dean has a cocky smile as he watches Sam struggle to find even one memory of his tall tale.

Sam smirks and gives a confident laugh but he’s panicking inside worried about what insane things he might have done. The room starts to spin again and he’s not sure if he can keep down what might be left in his stomach from the other night or not.

Dean’s feeling rather sinister at the moment so he gets up and pops a can of tomato juice then starts to chug it as he sits back down. “Ahhh hits the spot,” he says with a huge grin. “Want one, it tastes really tomatoey,” he says letting a satisfied exhale out before offering the can to Sam, the smell wafting across the room to his nose.

Sam tries but he can’t hold it back any longer, he runs into the bathroom and let’s loose.

Dean has a satisfied grin on his face as he puts the tomato juice down; suddenly he lets out a wicked burp and pats his belly. He’s got a terrible hangover too but he refuses to let Sam know about it.

 

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Sam knows that they’ve been staying in rural Pennsylvania longer than they ever should have simply because he’s a junior in high school and the semester is almost over. He knows that his Dad’s been taking cases closer to them so that he has an excuse to stay here; he knows this because he’s rented them a month to month apartment instead of a motel room on the edge of town. He likes the idea of a steady roof, a real kitchen with a full sized refrigerator, neighbors that aren’t prostitutes who fuck until the headboard beats off the wall knocking the pictures down and onto their heads while they’re trying to sleep. He even likes the fact that he is close enough to walk to and from school without using a bus or being driven. He loves the three months they’ve been living here, in this two bedroom apartment above the local Laundromat across from the courthouse, up the street from the library and only a few blocks from school. This is the closest thing to normal that he’s ever known.

When Sam comes in after school Dean’s sitting on the sofa waiting for him.

Sam rounds the corner of the living room and sees Dean sitting there, feet propped up on the coffee table and his heart skips a beat. Dean’s been going on the small day hunts with their Dad so they haven’t been alone in weeks. He knows Dean stayed behind to be with him or at least he hoped he did anyway.

“Where’s Dad,” Sam asks nonchalantly as he drops his bookbag next to the sofa and sits down at the other end.

Dean gives Sam his best crooked smile. “Hunting.”

“And you stayed home,” Sam says inching closer across the sofa.

“Sure, gotta spend some quality time with my lil bro sometimes,” he gives Sam a sideways glance before reaching out and taking his shoulder to pull him in close.

Their bodies’ crash into each other as Sam lets himself mold completely into Dean’s embrace. He gives in, not an ounce of protest as Dean pulls him in to kiss him hot and needy. They haven’t kissed like this in weeks, sure there are the tiny pecks in the bathroom before Sam leaves for school and Dean goes off with John for the day but this, this is what they’ve been craving.

Hands find bare skin under jackets and shirts, their mouths still sucking greedily as they refuse to break the passion. Sam grinds down into Dean, rutting as hard as he can into the stiff line pushing back into him. It’s rough and needy as they fumble to completely devour each other.

Lost clothing trails on the floor as they make their way to the bedroom, falling onto Sam’s bed just inside the doorway, they both barely fit on it as they fumble to get the last of their clothing off.

It’s all rutting and moaning, hands gripping and slipping over sweaty naked skin and tussled hair. Their hot wet mouths tasting salty flesh, marking skin, sucking and pleasuring beyond the point of sanity.

There are muffled moans and loud grunts when they come together. Dean’s dick is stuffed inside of Sam’s hot mouth as his hand is jerking Sam off frantically, the pearly white painting Dean’s overheated skin. Sam swallows every drop of Dean’s cum as he sucks him through his fevered orgasm before letting the softening cock slip from his lips.

Dean’s cradling Sam’s head on his shoulder, they’re just enjoying lying together, not saying anything just enjoying each other’s warmth. The silence is welcome as the only sounds they hear are their hearts beating for each other.

Dean breaks the long pleasant silence. “I need to tell you something,” he says swallowing nervously.

Sam tilts his head to kiss Dean’s jaw line. “You can tell me anything,” he says quietly.

Dean sits up to lean on the headboard. “Dad’s been asking me to go on a long hunt with him; he wants to go to New York for a few weeks. He’s got a lead on the Yellow Eyed Demon that killed Mom.”

Sam sits up. “Do you want to go,” he asks not looking in Dean’s eyes but fumbling with the sheets.

“Sam it’s not that I do or don’t want to go, it’s that I am running out of reasons not to go. You’re sixteen now, you can basically be on your own,” he shrugs his shoulders “give or take but what I am saying is there is no real good reason for me not to back Dad up on this hunt.”

“Maybe I want to go too,” Sam says as his emotions start to take control.

“You have school for a few more months yet,” Dean’s voice turns almost parental in tone.

“That never mattered before, Dad never minded taking me out of school to move along before,” Sam’s voice sounds on the verge of anger.

“Look Sammy, you need to finish school, you’re smart, and there is so much more use for that brain of yours than just being a hunter. I got a GED because I hated school but you love it, you deserve better than that, you deserve a real diploma from a real high school,” Dean’s words are honest and from the heart.

“Yeah but I don’t want to let you go, not knowing what’s happening or if your safe or not,” Sam’s voice cracks with emotion.

“Hey I’ll be fine, I am always fine,” Dean pulls Sam in close and hugs him.

“Damn it Dean, I feel like a little kid, you make me all moosh inside,” Sam says starting to chuckle.

“Well you are a girl ya know,” he laughs heartily before kissing Sam on the top of the head to reassure him that everything is alright.

If Dean were to admit his true feelings, he’d have to tell Sam that as much as he wanted to just stay home with Sam he also wants to kill the fucking demon that killed their mother, but he keeps that to himself for now.

It’s Saturday morning when Dean and their Dad are ready to leave. Sam is almost in a complete sulk and wants to refuse to talk to either one of them but he’s trying to be a man about being left behind.  
“Okay Sammy you know the rules, no one in the apartment and only use the credit cards for emergencies,” John says as he pats Sam on the shoulders.

“Got it Dad,” Sam says shrugging away from him.

Dean waits for John to go out to the car and then takes Sam and hugs him, “I’ll call you tonight just so you know I’m safe,” he says his voice cracking before he clears his throat and kisses Sam’s temple.

Sam is almost in tears but he holds them back as they break their embrace apart. “I’ll be waiting,” he says then quickly leans forward and kisses Dean’s cheek.

Dean shoots him a cross glance and points to the open door.

Sam smiles and takes Dean’s hand letting his fingers dance lightly over Dean’s. “One for the road, Ya know, to remember me by on those long cold nights in the Impala,” He grins wide before letting Dean’s hand go completely.

The sound of the Impala’s horn honking breaks their intimate moment.

Dean goes to the window and yells down at John, “I’ll be right there, have to use the head.” He then turns and grabs Sam pulling him in tight for a long slow kiss good-bye. They break apart panting. “Now that’s to remember me by while you’re jerking off to the sound of my voice on the phone tonight,” he says as he walks out the door closing it behind him.

When the phone rings that night Sam’s hand is already on it and poised to answer it.

“Hello,” he says it like he’s been waiting in eager anticipation for far too long, and he has.

“Hey Sammy,” Dean says with urgency. “We are staying at this motel called the Nap Inn, call me back the number is 505-6749 room 212. Dad will kill me if there’s a long distance charge on the room phone, give me a few minutes to get back inside to the room then call,” he says quickly and hangs up before Sam can answer him.

Sam quickly jots down the number from memory as he’s hanging up the phone.

The clock ticks very slowly for the next five minutes.

When Dean answers the phone on the first ring it’s like a weight off of Sam’s mind. “Sammy,” he says very quietly.

“Dean,” he says.

“I have to whisper cause Dad’s sleeping and the phone won’t reach into the bathroom.” Dean chuckles a little at the covert phone call. “Kinda feels like I’m calling one of those sex line numbers,” he says then quickly backpedals as not to let Sam think he calls sex lines, “not that I have ever done that.”

“It’s okay Dean, I know you’ve called them, I listened to you when you thought I was sleeping.”

“Ummm okay, awkward much,” he says before clearing his throat. “I don’t even know how to respond to that cause ya know I jerked off too and that was well before we started,” he nervously clears his throat again. “You know, fooling around,” he whispers into the mouthpiece, his hand covering it like he’s confessing his darkest secret.

“Yeah, remember when I told you I knew you jerked off, yeah, totally during phone sex,” Sam starts to laugh. “It’s cool dude, now I’m the reason you’re getting off. Anyway, you in New York yet,” he asks changing the subject.

“Yeah, he let me drive most of the way this time,” he says excitedly.

“Wonderful, I can’t wait to get behind the wheel again. I’ve been able to drive since I was twelve, you would think he would trust me to drive to the market now that I have an actual driver’s license. He let me drive him to the hospital when I was fourteen when he was hurt in that hunt in Montana,” Sam says reminiscing.

“You know Dad, he barely lets me drive her and I help do all of her repairs. I know her intimately, I’ve been up her skirt,” he laughs.

“If memory serves me correctly you’ve been up some skirts in her backseat while Dad was passed out in the motel too,” Sam says sarcastically.

“Yeah but nothing was as much fun as getting down your pants back there.”

Sam clears his throat and shifts his hips. “Don’t talk to me like that or you’re going to have to find a way to get that phone into the bathroom so you can talk dirty to me.”

Dean laughs. “I seem to be having an effect on your dick from 400 miles away. I’m a porn star.”

“Yeah Dean, you’re a porn star,” Sam deadpans but knows Dean does have an effect on his dick and his heart.

“Good night Sammy,” Dean says it like he doesn’t mean it.

“I’ll call you again tomorrow night,” Sam says it like it’s a question he needs Dean to answer.

“Sure, I’ll give you the signal and you wait five minutes and call me back.”

“Night Dean,” he says and then quickly adds. “I love you.”

“Night, love you too,” Dean says then quickly hangs up the phone.

Its three words they don’t exchange often. Yeah sometimes its I love you man, or I got your back, but tonight with those words being the ending of their conversation, they had a deeper meaning behind them and from so far away it was a declaration of the true love between them.

Two weeks turn into much longer, like a month longer. Then one day Sam gets an envelope in the mail full of money with a note that reads; heading to California. Here is some cash, pay the rent its due on the first and there is extra to hold you over for a few more weeks until we get back. Love Dad and Dean.

It’s not every night that Sam gets a call with a phone number, not every night that he even gets to hear Dean’s voice but he treasures the ones when he does. He savors the stolen moments in the dark, hot whispers about how things went that day or where they are now. He can’t help but worry on those nights when that phone doesn’t ring but he tries to keep himself preoccupied with schoolwork and mindless television. He’s grown quite fond of a little television show called Buffy the Vampire Slayer. He’ll never admit it to Dean because the badass hunter is a female slayer, one girl in all the world chosen to fight the vampires. Yeah he figures that isn’t something he’s ever going to tell Dean.

Sam’s grades excel without the constant missed days due to going off on short hunts here and there and he spends lots of extra time at the library doing research that he gives Dean and his Dad when they call.

Bobby stops by on his way through the state to check up on Sam and stays a few days. Sam’s happy for the company even if he won’t ever admit it out loud. He is surprised and happy when Bobby turns on the television to watch his favorite Tuesday night show and it turns out to be Buffy, now he has someone else other than his computer friends to talk with about it.

When Dean gets back it’s been one month and exactly 2 weeks 3 days. Sam knows this because he’s been circling the days on his calendar.

That night after John goes to sleep Sam crawls into Dean’s bed and literally lies on top of him all night. They don’t talk, or make love, or even make out they just lay there in the dark, their bodies pressed together sharing this intimate moment in time.

 

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Sam’s seventeenth birthday comes around without fanfare. Their dad’s out of town and Dean tries his best to make it a celebration but a trip to the A+ mini-mart for hotdogs and root beer doesn’t actually count as much of one. Although the fact that Dean gives him his first blow job does count at the most awesome gift he’s ever gotten. It even tops the rifle he got on his twelfth birthday.

Summer break comes into session and Sam figures they’ll move on to the next town, leaving behind his academic achievements from this year. He’s used to leaving all of his hard work behind to be shuffled off to the next school in transcripts but it doesn’t make it any easier each time he has to start over again.

When they wake up in the morning John’s already got a lead on a hunt the next state over. Sam figures this is the move he’s been dreading for the last few weeks, he knew his normal existence couldn’t hold out much longer.

“Sam, wanna go down to the library and do some research for me,” John asks as he hands Sam a piece of paper with some notes scribbled on it.

“Yeah, sure,” Sam says as he pours himself a glass of orange juice and grabs a pack of pop tarts.

Dean comes in the door just as Sam’s heading back to the bedroom to get dressed. “Car’s all ready sir,” he says as he lays the keys on the table next to the hunting journal his dad keeps.

“Thanks son,” John says, never even looking up from his journal.

When Sam comes back out of the bedroom he’s dressed, carrying his empty glass and the silver pop tart wrapper. Dean watches him put his things in the kitchen sink and grab his backpack before heading towards the door.

“Where are you going,” he asks Sam.

“Library, Dad has some research for me to do,” he’s slinging his backpack over his shoulder.

“Want some company,” Dean asks hopefully.

“You, in a library, this I have to see,” Sam laughs as he gives Dean a playful sideways glance from the doorway.

“Hey, I’ve cracked a book, once or twice,” he says jokingly in defense of himself.

“Okay Einstein, the library awaits,” Sam opens the door and ushers Dean out.

Dean bows at Sam as he passes through the doorway, he then stops abruptly outside the door and turns back around. “Got to get the keys from dad,” he heads back inside.

“Dean, the library is only two blocks away, we can walk to it,” Sam says laughing.

“Right, walking,” Dean says before shrugging and heading down the stairs behind Sam.

They don’t get much time to actually talk anymore since they aren’t alone that often lately so it’s basically brother stuff, hunting, family stuff, and mild annoyances between them lately. The short walk to the library gives them some nice alone time to talk.

Sam notices Dean looking a two scantily clad young women walking towards them. “Do you miss them,” he asks as he watches Dean’s eyes notice them walk past.

“Ladies,” Dean says smiling before answering Sam’s question. “I don’t know if I miss them as much as I miss flirting with them, getting them all worked up and giggling. It makes you feel like a man when you can get a woman to giggle by flirting with her.”

“So you do miss them,” Sam says turning his head to look back at the way their short shorts framed their well-muscled ass cheeks. “There is some curve appeal to them I guess.”

“Look Sam, don’t be jealous if I’m looking, only be jealous if I’m doing something other than looking. Besides you’re the only one that gets me hard anymore. So to answer your question point blank, No I don’t miss the physical contact with women at all,” he says as he smacks Sam on the back just above his ass.

“I don’t think about them at all,” he says quietly like he’s trying to confess without actually confessing, hoping Dean didn’t hear what he said.

“Did you ever think of them,” Dean asks.

Sam looks at him with a stunned look on his face, like he can’t believe he asked him that question. “Of course I have.” Sam knows he’s not lying but he’s also not telling the truth because the only women he’s ever thought of were under his brother. He just couldn’t get it up with girly magazines unless there was a dude with a huge raging hard on in the picture too. Oh sure he tried to tell himself if was the act of sex that turned him on but now that he’s been with Dean physically, he knows that isn’t true. He’s always been more interested in the cocks.

“Well then you can understand why I still look,” he smacks Sam on the shoulder and gives him a huge grin accompanied by a wink.

“Actually no I can’t because you’re the only one for me now,” Sam says quietly confessing the devotion he has for Dean.

“Sammy,” is all Dean can say. His emotions are close to the surface but he holds back because on the street in the open with people close enough to hear them he can’t bring himself to play true confessions with Sam.

The silence is awkward for a few minutes until a little girl with long blond curls and a sweet smile with two missing top front teeth tugs Sam’s jacket. “Mister you’re tall,” she says in a sweet girly voice.

Sam looks down at her and smiles before bending down on one knee to look at her directly. “Yes I am, freakishly tall some would say,” he smiles at her and chuckles a little.

“I like it,” she says as she throws her arms around his neck and gives him a big hug.

Sam laughs and pats her back lightly. “Thank you,” he says glancing up at Dean who is watching with a smile on his face.

A woman comes over and takes the girls hand, “Amanda Jo, leave that man alone and come with me right now,” she says yanking her away from Sam.

“Its okay, my brothers a kid magnet,” Dean says laughing.

“But Mommy I’m gonna marry that man one day,” the little girl says as her mother drags her away.

“There ya go Sammy, your first proposal,” Dean says laughing.

“Laugh it up Dean,” Sam says with a huge grin.

“Oh I am, don’t you worry your pretty little head about that. Besides by the time she’s old enough to marry you, you might want to take her up on it because they say beauty starts to fade after twenty,” Dean chuckles as he feels Sam smack him hard on the shoulder.

“It’s a good thing we’re at the library or I might just have to find the nearest bush and remind you just what this beauty does to make you beg for more,” Sam says giving Dean a seductive smile.

“Oh you don’t have to remind me, I remember far too well,” Dean says pushing Sam up the stairs to the entrance.

The librarian knows Sam by name and greets him with a smile. “Sam, so nice to see you back today,” she says ignoring Dean.

“Hi Miss. Temalfont,” he says smiling and blushing shyly. He likes to think of her as the grandmother he never knew. Her tight white permed hair and thick glass lenses make her the perfect grandmother candidate. She has soft blue eyes and always wears a sweater, the fact that she smells of gardenias completes the role for Sam who apparently has female role model issues.

“Computer time again,” she asks with a smile as she pushes the log book in front of him. “Just give me your library card and you’re all set,” She takes his card to make an imprint of it for logged time.

Sam signs the book and takes the key for the room from her. “Thanks,” he says giving her a huge grin.

Dean follows Sam and she stops him. “And who might you be,” she asks authoritatively.

Dean turns and looks at her but Sam speaks up. “This is my brother Dean,” he says introducing them. “Dean this is Miss. Temalfont, Miss. Temalfont this is my older brother Dean.”

“Nice to meet you Dean, now you boys enjoy yourselves,” she says waving them on.

“Nice to meet you ma’am,” Dean says. He walks close behind Sam and whispers in his ear. “Dude she’s like a grandmother, aren’t librarian’s supposed to be hot with big boobs and sexy glasses, she’s like 100.”

“Shhhh, Dean she might hear you,” Sam says as he unlocks the computer stall door.

“Not unless she turns up her hearing aid she won’t,” Dean laughs and mocks like he’s turning up a hearing aid in his own ear.

Sam throws his book bag down on the floor and shuts the door.

Dean looks around at the small closet sized space with no windows. “Wow and you spend a lot of time in here,” he says pulling out a chair and sitting next to Sam who’s already putting his pass code into the internet system.

Sam looks up everything on the piece of paper his dad gave him and prints out all the relevant materials. Dean watches in amazement at how Sam has mastered the internet. “Dude you’re like Hal,” he says making reference to the movie 2001 a Space Odyssey.

“HAL was the computer; I am more like Cereal Killer in Hackers. I got mad skills baby,” Sam says laughing.

“Yeah right,” Dean laughs.

Sam puts the printouts in his backpack. “Okay we’re good to go,” he says starting to log off the internet.

“Whoa, wait a minute,” Dean says taking Sam’s hands off the keyboard.

“What,” Sam says looking a bit annoyed.

“Show me how you learned those special tricks you do to me.”

“What special tricks,” Sam says confused.

“You know the internet gay tricks you do with your mouth,” Dean says as he licks his lips nervously.

“Did you only come with me to watch gay porn,” Sam asks with an irritated tone.

“No I came to spend time with you, but since we’re here and it’s on there,” he says pointing to the computer screen. “Might as well see what you’re up to when you’re doing your ”research” for dad, alone, in this small room, with no windows.”

Sam sighs. “Alright Dean I’ll show you gay porn,” Sam says as he starts to type words into a box on the ask Jeeves page.

They stare at the screen while several pages load. The first one opens to photos of two muscled men kissing then jerking each other off and then the larger of the two muscled men coming on the smaller man’s face.

The second page was a video of two men engaged in oral sex that turns into anal sex. Dean watches wide eyed at the two men, one with his rather large cock shoved inside of the other man’s ass, stretching it wide. He was amazed at how the man being fucked was moaning, writhing and begging for more as he’s pounded into with such a large dick.

Sam notices the look on Dean’s face. “I’ll find another one,” Sam says starting to stop the video.

“No, no I wanna watch it all the way through,” he says, as he palms his cock through his jeans.

Sam smiles and reaches over to rub Dean’s leg. “I take it you like what you see,” he says as he bites his lower lip with anticipation of pleasure.

“I have to know how it feels so good to be stuffed and stretched like that,” Dean says as he licks his lips and rubs his hand a little harder over his growing dick.

Sam moves his hand to rest over Dean’s bulge. “It’s this gland called the prostate, it helps make is feel good. The guys cock rubs over it making it swell, once it’s swollen and sensitive its like the best feeling in the whole world shooting through your body,” Sam says as he starts to rub Dean’s hard cock.

“And you know this how,” Dean asks as he takes his eyes off the screen and gives Sam a dark look.

“I read about it. I wanted to know why it felt good too so I looked it up. It also gave me instructions for self prostate massaging during masturbation. I’ve been doing it for awhile now. Remember when I begged you to fuck me but you told me men can’t fuck men and wouldn’t listen to me, well they can and it feels amazing. The best come you’ll ever have.” Sam squeezes Dean’s cock harder.

Dean moans but it’s lost in the loud sounds coming from the computer speakers as the men come at the same time. Dean can’t help it, he’s so turned on, his cock is so hard and there are no windows for anyone to watch them through. He reaches over and pulls Sam in for a kiss. Their lips crashing into each other with heated passion as Dean’s hands find the nape of Sam’s neck and hold him still while he plunders his mouth forcefully.

Sam relaxes into the needy kiss, his hands fumbling for Dean’s button and zipper before pulling his cock out. It’s hard and thick in his hand, the heat is pulsing through it as he starts to stroke it.

Dean moans into Sam’s mouth then moves away to his neck, licking and sucking along the long lean muscle of it. He loves Sam’s neck, so long and smooth, goes on for miles before he hits his shoulder. His grip is tighter on Sam as he holds his shoulders while he bites and licks the thick muscle under his jacket collar. “Oh fuck Sammy, yeah your hand is so fucking good,” he pants over the sensitive skin at the base of his neck. He laves at the hollow before kissing back up to his jaw line.

Sam’s hard and breathless, he jerks long slow strokes up and down Dean’s cock, the precome smearing and making the head glisten. He wants to lean down and suck it, taste it, feel it in this mouth as he gets Dean off, but Dean has other plans for Sam’s mouth.

“Tell me what you want to do to my cock Sammy,” Dean groans into Sam’s ear.

This is new, Sam’s not sure what’s going on but he thinks Dean wants him to talk dirty to him. He fumbles at first for the words, maybe over thinking what he should say and taking far to long to say anything.

“Come on Sammy, tell me what you want to do to my cock,” Dean groans into Sam’s shoulder. His balls are tight with need but he wants to hear Sam tell him how much he wants his cock rather than just showing him how much he loves it.

Sam closes his eyes and pictures what he wants to do and lets the words start to flow like a well told tale.

“I want to taste you, hold your long hard cock in my mouth, let the come paint the roof of my mouth as I slide it in and out of my lips. I want to feel every vein ripple over my tongue as I lap up and down your shaft before sucking your balls into my mouth and licking at them.

Dean is going limp with the words painting a beautiful picture in his head of Sam stuffed full of his cock and balls. His mouth stretched wide around him and slicking him up with spit shining all over his cock. He’s on the edge, panting hard and searching for Sam’s crotch so he can squeeze his cock through the thick denim separating them.

Sam moans at the feel of Dean’s hand hot on his cock. “I want to let you fuck my mouth with abandon and use me like your own toy,” he says as he moans through Dean’s rough ministrations.

Dean grunts and bucks into Sam’s hand working him over, he shivers and pants then comes hot over Sam’s fingers and wrist. “Oh Fuck Sammy,” he moans out through clenched teeth as he tries to be quiet, his words still echoing off the bare walls in the small room with no windows.

Sam lets go and takes no time opening his jeans and before he can even pull his cock out Dean’s got his hand shoved down inside of them. Dean’s lips are hot against Sam’s earlobe as he sucks at it then nips it gently with blunt teeth.

Dean loves the feel of Sam’s cock, its long and not too thick, just the right girth for sucking, even though he doesn’t do it very often and only on special occasions. He’s stroking Sam quickly, wanting him to come all over his hand; he wants the hot mess on his flesh. He’s focusing on Sam’s breathing, on the way he bucks his hips into his hand and how he’s holding onto Dean for dear life.

Then Sam starts to talk, to mumble, to say things into Dean’s ear that make a shiver of pure want shoot up his spine.

“I want to put my dick in your ass, I want to fuck you and have you fuck me. I want you inside of me Dean, not right now but soon, because I am tired of fantasizing with my own fingers and the small bully club. I want the real thing inside of me,” Sam starts to moan out in extreme pleasure. “Tell me you’ll fuck me, tell me you’ll give this to me,” his words are needy and wanton. His body is shivering with the anticipation of his orgasm and Dean’s words.

Dean thinks about it for a few seconds, the words hit him like a quick jab to the gut, painless but stunning him briefly. He whispers low and soft like he’s being consoling. “I want you to be happy Sammy,” is all he says.

Sam shudders and shakes as his hips grind faster into Dean’s rough tugs. “Tell me you’ll fuck me,” his words are so buried in need that they sound rough and guttural.

Dean takes a deep breath, the smell of Sam’s hair pleasant to his senses, sweat from his impending orgasm and perfumed shampoo. He closes his eyes and thinks about the video, the way the man was giving his partner so much pleasure, how he loves to give Sam that kind of pleasure, how he gives Sam whatever he wants and how he’ll always do anything for Sam. He opens his eyes and kisses Sam’s temple before whispering into his hair. “I’ll fuck you. I’ll fuck you until you come without being touched,” he says it tenderly like he’s whispering words of pure love.

Sam arches his back and takes a deep breath, his mouth closes tight as he grunts through his nose, the sound is guttural and deep, and then he comes in long white strings over Dean’s hand. He leans forward into Dean’s shoulder, panting and limp with exhaustion. “Thank you,” he manages to get out between quick uneven breaths.

“You’re welcome,” Dean says as he strips Sam’s cock until its limp in his hand. “I’m not sure why, but you are so very welcome.”

Sam sits up to look into Dean’s eyes. “Because I need you to want me so much that you’re willing to fuck me to make me happy,” he smiles then leans in to kiss Dean’s soft lips.

“I can’t deny you Sammy,” he says before their lips meet in a tender embrace.

 

~~~~~~~~~//\\\~~~~~~~~~  
~~~~~~~~~\\\//~~~~~~~~~

 

The summer seems to fly by in one huge blur of Motel rooms and hunts. Sam goes hunting with Dean and John, only missing two hunts in three months because Dean gets hurt and he nurses him back to health.

Dean’s chest is almost healed but he’s playing up his time with Sam, just enjoying the down time for a few days alone with Sam like old times. They are able to be at ease while stealing kisses and light touches. They are able to cuddle together at night and truthfully, Dean missed that more than he did the copious amounts of sex they’ve been having.

Snuggling Sam in close Dean kisses his temple as he lays staring at the pink light from the vacancy sign dancing on the ceiling. “This is nice,” he says even though he knows that tomorrow they’ll call their dad and head back out on the road again.

“Always nice,” Sam says smiling as he scooches in as close as possible to Dean’s side.

“You’ll be a senior in a few weeks,” Dean says. “Big man on campus,” he squeezes Sam tighter.

“Yeah, I guess. I just wish I could finish out my year back in Pennsylvania, I liked that school, a lot,” Sam says.

“You are.”

Sam sits up and looks down at Dean. “Don’t tease me Dean, I just want to be normal and at least get a diploma from a school I can actually call myself alumni of.”

 

Dean sits up and takes Sam’s shoulder. “Sam, didn’t Dad tell you that he kept the apartment and we’re going back there so you can graduate from there,” he says.

Sam’s face lights up for an instant at the thought of the normalcy of it, at the idea of actually being able to maybe make a friend for a change. “Seriously Dean,” he questions it because he’s not used to getting anything he wants except with Dean.

“Right hand up to God,” Dean says holding up his left hand.

“That’s your left hand,” Sam says laughing.

“Dude, it’s my right when it’s facing you,” Dean says just before kiss tackling Sam backwards.

 

It’s another week of hunting before they head back home to the apartment or as Sam calls it, home. John seems on edge the entire trip back, he snaps at Dean for things that aren’t even his mistakes; he glares at Sam like he’s done something wrong and all the while mumbles under his breath about losing precious research time.

Sam’s watching his father sleeping; he’s slumped over in the front seat of the Impala snoring. He watches his breathing and mannerisms because demons don’t have to sleep but their human hosts do.

Dean wakes up and catches Sam watching John sleeping and pushes him on the back before whispering loudly, “What are you doing?”

Sam looks back a concerned expression on his face. “Watching dad, I want to make sure he didn’t get possessed on the last hunt cause he’s been acting really mean,” Sam whispers back.

“Lay your ass back down Sammy,” Dean says tugging on his jacket trying to pull him backwards onto the seat again.

“Alright, but if he’s possessed, you’re the one I’m blaming when he goes dark side,” Sam whispers as he settles back into Dean’s body.

Dean wraps his arm over Sam’s body, his hand landing on Sam’s chest, he smoothes over it in a very reassuring manner. “Dad’s not possessed. He just gets on edge when he has somewhere that feels like roots to go back to. He gets like this every time we head back to the apartment after a hunt, it’s like he can’t stand having a roof and four walls to call home.”

Sam reaches behind and puts his hand on Dean’s thigh and squeezes a little. “I like having a home, not that the Impala isn’t our real home but it’s nice to have a place to call home. It makes me feel more, normal, not like some drifter with nothing to call his own,” Sam’s voice is sad when he says it.

“Sammy we aren’t ever going to be normal, we’re hunters, our life is the family business, saving people and hunting things,” Dean squeezes Sam just a little tighter.

“Didn’t you ever dream of being anything else, something bigger than, this? Sleeping in your car, living out of cheap motels, eating greasy diner food, and killing things,” Sam asks.

“Sure, I wanted to be a fireman when I was four years old, had the shiny red helmet and an axe but then mom died and everything changed.”

“Don’t be smart Dean,” Sam says with annoyance.

“I’m not Sam. Okay, you want to know how I feel about this, well here it is. We’re heroes, we save people Sam, we know what’s out there and we fucking face it and take it down. We help people live their lives without fear from the things that go bump in the night. I can’t imagine a life other than this; this is how we were raised, to be heroes. We are the people that those normal people call to save them when things get really scary in their lives. I never wanted to be normal like that.” It’s not a revelation to Dean it’s how he actually feels, its his duty to keep people safe and he knows he’ll do it until he ends bloody in battle against it.

Sam has a tear in his eye as he listens to Dean, full of pride in his calling but he can’t feel it, he feels he’s meant for something bigger in this life. “I can’t see it like that Dean, I wish to hell I could but I can’t.”

“What else is there Sammy, what do you want to do besides this,” Dean asks with fear in his voice, fear that he will lose Sam at some point, that this will end as easily as it began 3 years ago.

“I was thinking I’d like to be a lawyer.”

Dean smiles into Sam’s neck, “Than you can get me out of trouble when I get into it,” he says with a chuckle.

“I’m serious Dean, I want to use my brains for something other than research and learning Latin incantations.”

“I know you’re serious, I wish I could give it to you, give you everything you want in life but we have to face facts Sammy, I am never going to be a fireman and you are never going to be a lawyer.”

The rest of the way home Sam doesn’t talk to his dad or to Dean, he just sits in the back of the car and stares out the window. He feels like he’s been broken in two and the person he counted on the most to hold him together is the one who broke him.

 

~~~~~~~~~//\\\~~~~~~~~~  
~~~~~~~~~\\\//~~~~~~~~~

 

Senior year seems like a dream, its several months into the school year when Sam makes an actual friend, Jessie, for the first time ever. He’s joined the math club after much persuading by Jessie and his grades are far above expectation.

There is a lot of alone time again this year as Dean’s gone with John all of the time and sometimes they don’t come home for weeks on end. It’s almost like he lives alone and he kind of does.

Dean calls most nights just to check in and a package arrives in the mail containing a cellular phone with a note attached. For Emergencies Only. Dean 555-2111 Dad 555-4578 is all it says and Sam is tempted to never turn it on but he does and several hours later, he’s glad he had.

The phone rings and Sam fumbles to turn it on. “Hello.”

“Sammy, I see the phone got there,” Dean says.

There is a lot of static but he knows Dean’s voice right away. “Hey,” Sam says.

“What ya doing?”

“Eating a TV dinner and doing my homework,” Sam says taking another bite of food.

“Exciting evening, contain yourself wouldn’t want you to sprain anything,” Dean says laughing.

“Jerk,” Sam says with a huge smile.

Dean knows this is his cue, “Bitch,” so he says it.

“Where are you guys,” Sam asks as he eats more food.

“At Bobby’s. We are picking him up, he’s gonna help us,” Dean says.

 

The static clears up a little bit and Dean is easier to understand. “When do you think you’ll be around again,” Sam asks with anticipation of the answer.

“Maybe a few weeks. God I miss you Sammy,” Dean says.

“I miss you too,” Sam says. He’s lonely, frustrated and wants to touch Dean’s freckled cheeks.

“Hey, I’m alone, wanna have phone sex,” Dean asks expectantly.

“I don’t know Dean,” Sam says. He wants it, he needs to hear Dean tell him how much he wants him but it just doesn’t feel right tonight, he’d much rather have him here with him.

“Yeah, Dad would kill me when he got the cell bill and wonder why I had so many minutes on the phone anyway. Well I better get going,” Dean says very disappointed.

“Okay, maybe call me on the land line later tonight and we’ll get off together,” Sam says full of hope.

“Maybe, depends on what time we’re leaving in the morning,” Dean’s voice shows his disappointment.

Sam can’t help but feel bad because he refused to have phone sex with Dean, he doesn’t do it often but when he does he always feels like Dean thinks he doesn’t want him. “Okay I’ll be waiting with the lube,” Sam chuckles before adding, “Love ya.”

“Night Sammy,” is all Dean says.

Sam waits by the phone for Dean to call. He’s stroked himself hard in anticipation but Dean doesn’t call, as a matter of fact he doesn’t call again for over a week. When he does call, it’s just to tell him they’re on their way home.

Its halfway through the Math club meeting when Jessie finally shows up, he sits next to Sam and bumps his shoulder.

“Hey,” Jessie whispers. “Did I miss anything important,” he says smiling from ear to ear.

Sam gives him an annoyed glance, “Where have you been, the speaker’s almost finished and I only came cause you said you wanted to hear him speak,” he’s whispering loudly as he stares straight ahead at the man writing on the chalkboard.

“Dude, had things to take care of,” he says smiling then makes the hand to mouth symbol for a blow job.

Sam jerks his head and looks at him wide eyed. “Where, who, Dude you have to spill it,” he says enthusiastically.

“After, I swear I’ll tell you all about it,” Jessie says nudging Sam’s shoulder again. You couldn’t wipe the smile off of his freckled farm boy face if you wanted to.

 

They walk back to Sam’s apartment to study for their math exam the next day but Sam wants to hear all about Jessie’s experience.

Sam’s laying his books out on the table as he blurts out, “Okay so tell me about your blow job.”

“Dude, not gonna suck and tell, it’s not polite to suck and tell,” he says laughing.

“But you said you were going to,” is all Sam gets out before Jessie interrupts him.

Jessie’s blue eyes are wide as his red lips are curved into a devious smile. His semi long blonde hair is messed up like he just got out of bed and his skin is flushed pink as he starts to tell the story.

“So we were in the locker room talking and then went out to the bleachers to sneak a smoke when he starts to touch my arm,”

Sam abruptly interrupts him. “He,” he says surprised and very inquisitively.

Jessie just looks at Sam for s second stunned and his face gets bright red like he’s afraid of what’s going to come next if he doesn’t try and cover it up. “Ummm,” he stammers.

“Jessie if it’s a he you can tell me, I don’t care if it was a he or not,” Sam says reassuringly as he touches Jessie’s shoulder.

Jessie sighs in relief. “Yes Sam a He, I like other guys. I am gay,” he says, his eyes going downward with shame.

“It’s alright, I understand,” is all Sam says because he can’t bring himself to tell Jessie, to trust him enough yet to admit he likes guys too, well one guy in particular that just happens to be his brother and that, he will never tell anyone.

“Good, I don’t want to lose you as a friend over this Sam,” he says with earnest, his smile building back up on his lips. “So wanna hear the rest of it.”

“Sure,” Sam says enthusiastically.

Jessie finishes his story about how the guy hit on him, told him he had nice lips, how they would look better around his cock all wet and stretched wide. He put emphasis on the fact that he did the sucking and the guy only jerked him off but promised next time that he would most definitely suck him off. He was excited about the fact that there would be a next time with the captain of the football team.

Sam feels happy for Jessie, likes that his friend is gay too but also he fears for him because someone as high profile as Captain of the football team might just be using his friend and most definitely won’t be seen in public as gay.

Its 3am when Dean crawls into bed next to Sam. He’s just arrived home and is totally exhausted; all he’s thought about for the last two hundred miles is how good Sam will feel pressed up against his aching body tonight.

Sam’s awake but pretends to be asleep. He heard them coming in, actually went to the top of the stairs to check things out but when he heard Dean’s voice he went back to bed. It’s not that he’s mad at Dean; God knows he missed him so much it hurt most of the time, but Dean’s frosty shoulder since the phone sex incident, doesn’t inspire him to run down and hug his neck.

Dean shifts into Sam, his body molding to the long lean line of Sam’s body. He seems longer than when he left over a month ago but still he stretches long to fit against him. Sam shifts a little, adjusting his hips and inching to the edge of the bed. He does it lazily like it’s the most normal movement in the world to make room for Dean while he’s sleeping, as to not arouse suspicion in him. Dean takes a deep breath and lets Sam’s clean scent fill his senses before snaking his arms around him and holding tight.

The sounds of John walking down the hall wakes Sam up, he’s barely slept anyway with Dean’s warm body teasing him, the rough feel of his jeans brushing against him through his pajama bottoms was making him semi hard all night long.

The footsteps stop outside of his door and he hears the knob rattle like John’s going to open the door so he jumps out of bed and rushes over to it. Their hands both turn the knob at the same time and Sam pulls the door open and steps between it and his father.

“Sammy,” John says startled.

“Dad,” Sam says in return pushing his way through the door so that he can shut it before his dad sees Dean passed out in his bed.

“Dean still sleeping,” John says quietly.

“Yeah, he was pretty wrecked last night, didn’t even undress,” Sam says closing the door behind himself as he steps completely into the hallway.

“Good, he had it rough this week. I wasn’t sure if he had the head space for the last hunt, he seemed off for some reason. All he kept talking about was that he wanted to come home for a few days, get himself straightened up. You have any idea what might be bothering him, you two are pretty close.”

Sam wanted to smile at that, he wanted to turn around, go back into the bedroom, climb back into bed and snuggle with Dean all day long, but he couldn’t, not with their dad there, so he just shrugged his shoulders and shook his head.

“You know Dean; he does his own thing sometimes. Maybe he was just tired. Hunting can be very depressing sometimes and you’ve been out there non stop for over a month now,” Sam says heading for the kitchen with John following him.

When Dean emerges from the bedroom he’s disheveled and sleepy with a thick growth of stubble on his chin. He rubs the sleepy dirt from his eyes and flops down at the kitchen table.

“Morning,” he says, his voice rough and gravely from sleep.

“More like afternoon,” Sam replies.

Dean reaches over and takes the other half of Sam’s sandwich and starts to eat it.

“Hey,” Sam says in protest. “Make your own.”

“Why, you already made one for me,” Dean says as he smiles wide, sandwich between his teeth.

“Gross, what are you 10,” Sam says trying not to laugh.

Dean finishes the sandwich and takes what’s left of Sam’s milk and chugs it down too.

“Well, thank you very much for stealing calcium from a growing boy,” Sam says looking into the bottom of the empty glass. “That was the last of it until I go to the store today.”

“I’ll drive you, don’t worry. Just let me get a shower first,” Dean says looking around the apartment. “Where’s dad?”

“Left about two hours ago,” Sam says eating the last of his sandwich.

“When’s he coming back,” Dean asks.

“Don’t know, Rick called him and he grabbed his gear, threw a few hundred dollars at me, and told me to tell you that you needed the rest to stay with me this time and left.” Sam doesn’t even sound surprised, interested or upset at the fact that his father left him in less than twenty four hours after he arrived.

“Really,” Dean’s tone is of hurt. “I’m not that tired, really.”

Sam scolds Dean for pushing himself far too hard. “Dean, you passed out with your clothes on, in my bed with dad in the house. I fucking had to save our asses when he tried to open the door to the bedroom. You are tired.”

“Whatever. I get to spend some time with you, uninterrupted anyway,” he says wiggling his eyebrows. “What day is it anyway?”

“Sunday,” Sam answers.

The day goes quickly, they go to the store, and Dean tries to persuade Sam into going to the library to watch gay porn on the internet but Sam pulls several porno movies from under the sofa so they watch a movie and make out instead.

A week passes and Dean is getting that old antsy feeling again. He wants to be on the hunt with his dad and the walls are starting to close in on him here.

When Sam gets home from school he has Jessie with him. Dean’s on the sofa in his boxers watching Days of Our Lives, his favorite soap opera.

“Jesus Dean puts some jeans on,” Sam says disgustedly.

“You never said you were bringing home company,” Dean says putting a pillow over his lap.

“Its 3:30 in the afternoon, I didn’t think I had to warn for indecency,” Sam’s tone is one of embarrassment.

Dean stands up with one hand holding the pillow so he holds out his free hand. “Hi, I’m Dean, the older brother and you are,” he gives his best shit eating grin to the boy.

“Jessie, sir,” he says nervously. He notices Dean’s muscled legs and the thought of that body in just underwear is making him seriously hard. He starts to stammer. “I..I..m Sam’s friend from… from school,” he says closing his eyes as he lets Dean’s hand go and hoping he doesn’t sound too special needs.

“Nice to meet you, Jessie, seems I need to be a bit more covered up.” Dean says before excusing himself to put on his jeans.

Sam smiles at Jessie’s obvious attraction to Dean and thinks it’s even funnier that Dean isn’t catching on.

As Sam and Jessie study at the kitchen table Dean watches them, acts kind of like a mother hen protecting her chicks as the boys laugh and joke while studying. Dean’s not sure if he actually trusts this Jessie, if he likes the cut of his jib or not but he seems to make Sam happy and hell the only friends he’s ever had outside of himself and their dad and well, Bobby. Oh and that other hunter Jake’s kid, Sherry.

The cold weather is setting in and Dean keeps complaining about having to walk everywhere because John took the car. Sam likes the cooler weather and he walks everywhere while Dean and dad are out of town, so Dean’s bitching goes in one ear and out the other.

John calls to let the boys know he’s on his way back and should be home in a few days from Wisconsin. Dean’s happy to hear his voice but Sam, not so much. He knows this is when Dean’s leaving again and he’s loved the last few weeks of having him here like old times.

It’s Friday night and Dean is itching to go out to a little bar called The Brown Derby just a few blocks away.

“I haven’t had a good night out in awhile, well possibly since your 15th birthday at that honky tonk in Arkansas and honestly not the best birthday celebration ever. You fell asleep with my dick in your mouth,” Dean says laughing.

Sam stares at him. “I thought you said I blew you like a ten dollar hooker on a good night, all wet and messy until you came and I swallowed it all down. Best blow job you ever had you said, never gonna have one like that again, you said,” Sam crooks his eyebrow up and purses his mouth into an inquisitive bitch face.

Dean shifts his eyes and tries to change the subject. “So maybe you could come with and,” he’s interrupted by Sam.

“Dean, did I blow you or pass out with your dick in my mouth,” he wants an answer because for the past two years he’s been trying to live up to that blow job and prays he is.

“I may have fibbed a little bit about that Sammy,” he’s stammering because he hates to be wrong or be caught in a lie.

“DEAN,” is all Sam says.

“You were so drunk, you wanted to blow me, give me the best blow job ever but after a few minutes you passed out while sucking my cock and so I put you to bed. There is that what you wanted to hear,” Dean throws his arms up and starts to walk away from the sofa.

“Don’t walk away Dean,” Sam says and takes his arm. “I’ve been trying every time we’ve had sex to out do that blow job, to give you the best damned bj I can but it seems as though I did that the very next time I sucked you dry. Don’t lie to me like that again,” he says pulling Dean down onto the sofa again.

“It was really just a joke Sammy, never meant to hurt you with it,” he says it shamefully.

“Didn’t hurt me,” Sam says letting Dean’s arm slip out of his hand as he trails it up to Dean’s cheek before leaning in to kiss him. “All is forgiven,” he says softly into Dean’s mouth.

 

Sam’s hands hold Dean’s shoulders tight as he kisses him with messy tongue and a world of need. He presses as tight at he can to him wanting to feel every inch of his body against him.

Dean’s hands move around Sam’s waist as he starts to move them up and down the long length of his back. He can feel the muscles flexing as Sam moves, undulating into him, and begs him to take him. Dean’s cock is hard, he’s running on pure lust, all he wants to do is to shove Sam backwards onto the sofa and ravage him with his mouth. He wants to devour Sam from head to toe, to mark him and claim him making Sam all his.

Sam starts to claw at Dean’s shirt trying to pull it up and over his head, he’s fumbling and awkward, not like himself at all. He’s filled with urgent need. His cock is making a thick uncomfortable line in his jeans and he wants it out, now.

Dean surges forward pushing Sam backwards onto the sofa, his body a heavy weight on top of Sam as he grinds down into him. His mouth is moving over his neck, nipping and sucking with ravenous need. It’s hard and messy and so damned hot. He’s got his hands entangled in Sam’s long shaggy hair as he uses it to expose more of his flesh for tasting. Dean feels out of control, like all he can feel is want and desire.

Sam’s hands are cupping Dean’s ass, squeezing the rounded cheeks through his jeans. He’s gripping so tight that he’s pulling Dean harder into himself with each grind of his hips. His hips are moving in rough uncoordinated circles into Dean’s as the thick fabric of their jeans makes muffled noises between them.

They are panting as they strip down while pressed tight to each other, hands removing shirts and shimmying jeans off of hips. Dean’s mouth tastes every inch of flesh that Sam’s exposing to him. Sam moans and gyrates into Dean; their flesh is hot and slick, their cocks rub together making friction as it sends shockwaves of pleasure throughout their bodies.

Sam’s moaning into Dean’s shoulder as he pulls himself up to gain more friction into the grind and he slips one hand down Dean’s back into the cleft of his ass and starts to move it up and down softly. Dean clenches his cheeks and stutters his hips for a moment as he realizes what Sam is about to do.

Sam smiles up into Dean’s face. “Will you fuck me this time,” he asks, sounding broken and needy.

Dean stops grinding and sits up on his knees. “I, can’t, I, not this time Sam. I need more time,” he says. His eyes falling closed on the words. “Lets just do it normal this time; we can explore the kinks next time.”

Sam’s eyes go wide, his mouth falls open with surprise. “Kinks,” he says it like he’s been branded something horrible. “Fucking me isn’t a kink Dean. I want you inside of me because I want to be with you completely, not because it’s a KINK,” Sam’s hurt, he can’t help but think Dean thinks he’s a freak for wanting this.

“Those guys on the video were just playing, just doing it for the camera,” Dean says in his defense.

“Dean, it’s not just a porno thing, it happens every day, men fuck each other up the ass all the time. It’s not kinky or just a porno thing for the camera. It feels good and I like it, I want you to be inside of me, to make us complete.” Sam’s trying to be rational over his hurt feelings.

“But I don’t think I can do it to you, bend you over and stick my dick up your ass hole,” Dean’s being blunt; he’s not sugar coating it, just laying how he feels out there. “I’m sorry if you like it but I just can’t bring myself to do it.”

“Get off of me,” Sam says shoving at Dean as he scrambles to get off the sofa. “I fucking did things for you that I didn’t know if I’d actually like or not. I sucked your balls because you said you liked it and guess what, I like it too. I let you spank me against my better judgment and guess what, I liked it. I wasn’t asking to fuck you up the ass, I wanted you to fuck me, give me that pleasure but since you’re a selfish ass who doesn’t care what I like, I’m outta here,” Sam screams at him as he’s pulling his clothes on.

“Shit, Sammy wait,” Dean says pulling his jeans up to go after Sam. “Wait, for fucks sake wait,” he screams as Sam closes the door behind himself.

It’s about ten minutes later when Sam arrives on Jessie’s doorstep looking for a distraction from the fight.

 

Jessie’s mother answers the door and tells Sam that Jessie’s upstairs in his room sulking because his friend cancelled their night out together, that maybe he could cheer him up.

Sam remembers that Jessie and Mike, the football team captain, were to go out tonight. Well, going out to them is blowjobs in the back of Mike’s pickup truck on a secluded farm road, but hey whatever they call it a date.

Sam knocks on Jessie’s bedroom door.

“I don’t want anything mom,” he yells through the door.

“Dude, it’s me, Sam,” Sam yells back at him.

“Sam,” he says unlocking the door and opening it up. “Get your ass in here,” he closes the door and locks it again.

Sam sniffs the air and it smells like cigarettes or something else not so good. “What the fuck is that smell Jess,” he says scrunching up his nose.

“Oh, weed, Want some, I have another joint over here,” he goes to get it.

“No thank you, I don’t bother with that stuff, rots your brain,” Sam says flopping down on Jessie’s bed.

“I didn’t either but Mike turned me onto it and I had a bag he gave me to hold for him so I rolled one when he cancelled our date tonight, totally makes you feel better,” he says rolling the thin white rod between his thumb and index finger.

“Well don’t do it while I’m here, Dean will kill me if I go home smelling like weed even if I’m not high,” Sam takes the joint and throws it on the nightstand. “We can make our own fun,” he pulls a Nintendo game from his backpack. “Mario,” he says smiling.

“Dude, Mario while I’m stoned. You are my best friend,” Jessie says as he pulls the game and controllers out before lying down on the bed next to Sam. “I’m gonna kick your ass.”

They play several rounds of Mario, Sam beating Jessie every time. They’re lying on their backs staring at the ceiling talking about things, how Jessie feels like Mike is only using him for sex, how it’s okay but it hurts when he tells him he loves him but then ignores him at school.

“That guy is so not good for you, look he even has you using and holding drugs for him. That’s so not you Jess,” Sam says turning on his side to look at him.

“But he’s the first boyfriend I ever had. Yeah, I’ve been with other guys but they were older guys, pervs who used me when I was just a kid. This guy keeps coming back,” he says trying to make it sound like there is a romance to their relationship.

“He’s not your boyfriend; he’s your fuck buddy. If he was your boyfriend Jess, you’d be with him right now, instead he’s out with some girl with his football friends doing whatever they do,” Sam’s telling him like it really is, taking off his rose colored glasses and showing him the real situation. “Besides you can do so much better than him.”

Jessie looks up into Sam’s eyes and smiles. “I can do so much better than him,” his words are soft and his glassy blown out stoned pupils go a little bit smaller as he sits up and kisses Sam on the lips.

Sam’s taken by surprise and pulls back a little. He’s not sure what’s happening but he doesn’t want to hurt Jessie’s feelings by rejecting the kiss.

He lets him have the kiss, a tender touch of lips and heat and he doesn’t completely dislike it. Jessie tastes like sugary root beer and sweet smoke from the weed. It’s not entirely unpleasant and Sam can’t help but like it a little bit.

“Sorry if this weird,” Jessie says when their lips part.

“Its okay, no problem,” Sam says a little bit confused, a little bit kiss drunk and getting sort of hard.

Jessie leans in and kisses Sam again, this time he’s a little bit more aggressive by putting his hand on Sam’s hip and holding him still while he takes control of his mouth. Sam lets him take control, lets him put his tongue between his lips and lick the inside of his mouth. He likes it, the feel of it, the absolute difference between Jessie’s kiss and Dean’s kisses, he finds himself comparing them.

Jessie puts his thumb through the first belt loop of Sam’s jeans and tugs him forward into himself, Sam goes without protest. Their bodies collide as Sam falls onto Jessie, their cocks pressing into each other.

Sam lets it happen; lets Jessie hold him down by his ass while they kiss. He can’t help himself; he wants to try something, someone new. He’s only ever known Dean, done what Dean wants to do, waited for Dean to come home, waited for Dean to call him for phone sex, and hid his love for Dean from everyone. He wants to try something he’s not at all ashamed of for once and yeah it might be his best friend, but its not Dean.

Their hips start to move in time rubbing together, their cocks building to complete erections within seconds as they grind together. Sam’s hands don’t touch Jessie, he doesn’t stroke his hair, or hold his hips, or even touch him other than to grind into him. He shows him no sexual attraction, only the need to get off with him. He’s not numb, he’s not happy, he’s not excited, he’s just there with Jessie and not Dean.

Jessie starts to suck at Sam’s neck, the thick column that runs down to his shoulder is his object of affection as he mouths his way to the collar of Sam’s shirt. “You’re wearing far too much clothing,” he says into Sam’s flesh.

Sam blinks like it just registered to him that Jessie wants him to strip and he swallows hard, acts like a total virgin and rolls off of Jessie. “I…I..can’t,” he says nervously.

“It’s okay if you’re a virgin, we won’t do anything but kiss and frot. I know how scary your first time can be,” Jessie says stroking Sam’s cheek lovingly.

Sam’s brain is working a mile a minute as he thinks about how wrong but right but wrong this all is. He thinks about Dean, about how this was cheating and this shouldn’t be happening. He stands up and walks to the door then turns around. “I’m really sorry Jessie but I can’t do this, you’re my best friend and I don’t want anything to ruin that,” he tells him before walking out the door.

Dean’s stretched out on the sofa, he’s been thinking about the fight with Sam and how he’s so damned stupid for being so afraid of being inside of Sam, of doing what he really does want to do to him. He knows that it’s the fear of the emotions it will bring up between them, he’s never told Sam how he actually feels, figures if he doesn’t then none of this is actually real and when and if Sam ever wises up and gets tired of it, it won’t hurt so much if he doesn’t admit how much he actually loves him.

Sam has a lot of time to think as he walks back to the apartment. He wants to tell Dean about Jessie but he knows if he does it could mean total rejection because he’ll feel betrayed, but he also only came to the realization of how much he loves Dean by having the kiss with Jessie. All he really knows is that even if Dean never does fuck him, he doesn’t want to lose him because he truly loves him.

When Sam walks through the door Dean’s heart stops for a few seconds, he wants to jump off the sofa and hug him, hold on to him and never let go but he doesn’t. He just sits there staring at the television that he isn’t even paying attention to.

Sam walks over and sits down on the opposite side of the sofa from Dean. He’s anxious to talk, to clear things up, to take back what he said but it somehow feels awkward, stuck in his throat like something huge and dry that he just can’t spit out.

There is silence for a few minutes, awkward silence that feels like an alien force in the room because there has never been this between them, never anything remotely like this with them.

After a few minutes Dean clears his throat and looks over at Sam. “I’m sorry Sammy,” he says it and he means it.

Sam moves a little closer across the sofa next to Dean. “It never should have happened,” he says quietly. “I got too upset over nothing.”

“It wasn’t nothing Sammy, it’s a really huge something,”

“Its not important, I have you and I need to realize that I can’t be a greedy kid forever, it’s not always about me,” Sam puts his hand on Dean’s knee.

“And it’s not always about me,” Dean covers Sam’s hand with his and squeezes a little bit for comfort.

Sam kisses Dean’s cheek. It’s a tender loving kiss that says he forgives him, that is meant to heal anything still broken between them. He lays his head on Dean’s broad shoulder and coos just a little with the comforting warmth.  
“I want to give you what you want, I’ve wanted to give it to you since you showed me the video, but it scares me Sam. It’s a big step that we can’t take back if it doesn’t work out.”

Sam looks up into Dean’s eyes and holds his face in the palm of his hand. “I love you and that is all I need to know. This is working out, this is us and there is nothing ever to be taken back, never feel ashamed of what we feel,” he’s spilling his guts to Dean, telling him exactly how he feels about them and suddenly that dry something caught in his throat is gone.

Sam’s declaration makes Dean smile; he leans in and kisses him, sealing the only crack left between them. “I love you too,” he says quietly as he continues to kiss him.

They’re stretched out on the sofa, Dean on top of Sam as they kiss lazily. Hands roaming and exploring every inch of skin they can reach. Their feet are tangled together, their hips grinding down in small circles as they gyrate into each other.

It’s slow and lazy as they take their time getting to know each others bodies, its hands under shirts, down pants, and through hair. Hungry mouths move down necks, over chests, and back to mouths. There are soft moans, tiny giggles, panting and names called out as the passion builds.

The foreplay is intense this time, more than they had ever done in the past but it feels right, needed and wanted.

“Wanna go to the bedroom,” Dean whispers into Sam’s ear.

“Uh huh,” Sam says breathlessly. His eyes are closed as he reels from the hot breath in his ear.

They go to the bedroom where Sam immediately strips naked and lies down on the bed. His cock is fully erect and glistening with precum.

Dean studies Sam’s body splayed out on the bed, Sam’s cock is hard and long and he watches Sam gently stroking it.

“Are you gonna get in bed with me,” Sam asks as he waits for Dean to finish stripping down.

Dean smiles at the sight of Sam then licks his lips like he’s looking at a delicious meal and he’s absolutely starving. “I’m coming,” he says as he kicks off his jeans and boxers.

“Oh not yet you’re not,” Sam says with a laugh. “But you will be soon,” he finishes with a more sober seductive tone.

Dean crawls into bed and lies next to Sam, he’s running his fingertips up and down Sam’s chest, tickling him with the light touches. “I can’t wait to be inside of you.”

“Mmmm, neither can I,” Sam coos with the touches and the thought of Deans’ cock buried inside of him when he comes.

Dean’s kissing down Sam’s neck, over his shoulder and onto his chest. His lips find the hard nub that is Sam’s nipple and suckles at it before biting at it with blunt teeth. Sam arches his back into the sensation, his hands grab at Dean’s shoulders for support as he moans into the feeling.

Continuing down Sam’s torso he runs his tongue through the deep groove of Sam’s sternum to his navel where he laves at the tender flesh. Sam’s gripping the sheets at this point, his body is one long taunt muscle from the tickling pleasures Dean is giving him.

“Holy Fuck Dean,” he grunts out before clawing at Dean’s back with the pads of his fingers.

Dean laughs and looks up at Sam’s pleasure pained expression. “No coming Sammy, I haven’t even gotten started yet,” he says before kissing his way down Sam’s happy trail.

It’s intoxicating how Dean’s making Sam come completely undone with his mouth. He loves how Sam arches and keens, clenches the sheets and then at Dean, and how his body is a long line of tense muscle.

He’s sucking down Sam’s cock slicking it with saliva as he jerks the base off. Dean loves sucking Sam; taking him in as far as he can, letting his cock fill his mouth and all of the dirty little noises Sam makes for him.

“Fuck Dean, yeah, oh my god,” Sam grunts and moans out breathlessly.

Dean pulls off and slides up Sam’s body, his hand still gently jerking Sam’s wet cock, He kisses Sam, Dean’s overly wet lips on Sam’s dry mouth. “Suck me Sammy,” he whispers into Sam’s mouth.

Sam bites Dean’s lip. “My pleasure,” he says as he starts to move down Dean’s body as he pushes him onto his back.

He kisses the swollen head, the thick pearl of precome resting in the slit drags out when Sam pulls off. Dean watches with excitement. He loves to watch Sam swallow his cock, to see his big puppy dog eyes stare up at him from under his shaggy bangs as he bobs up and down on him.

Sam takes it to the back of his throat and flexes his throat muscles a little before pulling up. Deans’ logical senses crash as he goes incoherent. He’s experiencing nothing but the sheer pleasure of Sam’s mouth.

“Oh, oh, oh, fuck Sammy what did you just do,” he says, his tone wrecked. His hands are gripping the headboard and he’s fighting the urge to thrust his hips.

Sam drops down again and repeats his actions sending Dean into a frenzy of writhing and bucking into his mouth. He holds his head still and lets Dean fuck his mouth. He’s trying hard to catch up as Dean’s hips slow and he shoves him down on the bed holding his hips still as he frantically bobs up and down.

“Don’t make me come,” Dean says panicked, his hands coming down on Sam’s head, threading through his hair to slow him down.

Sam pulls off panting; he runs the back of his hand over his spit soaked lips. “Sorry, got carried away,” his voice is fucked out and raw sounding.

He leans down and licks a stripe up the center of Dean’s balls to the tip of his cock before climbing back up Dean’s body. He rests his ass over Dean’s cock and then he grinds down into it. His mouth is devouring Dean’s in a hungry fit of passion. He sits up and slides Dean’s cock up the crease of his ass then rides it.

Dean watches Sam’s face relax and fall into a complete pleasured expression. He loves it and the feel of Sam’s ass sliding over his cock is the most amazing thing he’s ever felt.

“Yeah ride it Sammy,” he gasps out.

Sam leans forward letting Dean’s cock fall away and reaches in to his nightstand to get out a tube.

“Here, squeeze this on your fingers, you need to stretch me open to fuck me,” Sam says through his blissful haze.

Dean squeezes a tiny bit on his fingers.

“No Dean, a lot, it needs slicked up really good back there,” Sam insists.

Dean puts a more substantial amount on them and moves them around greasing them all over. “How’s that,” he asks.

“Great, now just one finger at a time, I’ll tell you when I’m ready for a second,” Sam lifts up and slides Dean’s hand between his legs and adjusts his hips for better access to his ass.

Dean moves Sam’s balls out of the way and finds the puckered opening; he runs his finger over it feeling the soft ridges before pushing at the entrance. Sam gasps at the feeling, the pleasure shooting through him as the pressure builds with the push of Dean’s thick digit forcing its way inside.

Dean’s finger reaches its base, he’s all the way in and Sam starts to move on it, riding it with slow circling movements. Dean loves the tight hot feel of Sam’s ass on his finger, he loves how it’s giving Sam such pleasure, and he can’t wait to feel that tight fluttering hole stretching around his cock.

“Another, give me another finger,” Sam moans out as he stops moving awaiting the slow burn of a second digit stretching him open.

Obliging Sam’s wishes Dean slips a second finger inside next to the first. Sam starts to move again, slow steady thrusts over the two stiff fingers. His hips are undulating back and forth over them and he begins to moan and quiver. Dean can’t believe how beautiful Sam looks being fucked like this. His eyes are closed, mouth agape, hair sweaty and matted to his forehead; his hands are resting on Dean’s abdomen for support as he moves.

“You’re fucking beautiful,” he says with amazement.

Sam opens his eyes and looks down at Dean as he smiles a very satisfied grin. “Another finger please,” is all he says as he waits for it to enter him.

Dean grants his wish by slowly sliding another finger inside of him. He looks down at the once tiny hole stretched wide with three fingers as Sam moves up and down on them.

Sam grabs the tube of Ky Gel and puts a liberal amount on his hand before reaching behind and slicking up Dean’s cock. “I’m ready,” he says lifting off of Dean’s fingers. They pull out with a soft pop.

Dean takes his cock and lines it up with Sam’s stretched entrance then Sam slowly lowers down on it. Dean watches as the head disappears inside, then half of his shaft before Sam slows and starts to rock on it. He’s moaning incoherent sounds as he slowly but surely makes his way down to the base. He’s sitting on Dean’s hips moving in small circles and humming with delight.

The tight heat and squeeze is like nothing Dean’s ever felt before. It holds him inside, has him captured like a slick grip and only Sam has the control as he starts to move up and down on it.

“Oh Sam, Fuck Sam, amazing Sammy,” he gasps out as his hands find Sam’s hips and help him move up and down over his cock.

“Yeah, oh my god Dean,” Sam exclaims. “Never felt this good before, never, felt like this,” he moans in time with each thrust.

They move slow and purposeful, each push and pull, each ebb and flow is building the orgasm between them.

Sam starts to increase his pace as Dean’s cock steadily hits his prostate making his cock jerk with need.

“I wanna come Dean, let me come Dean,” Sam begs.

Dean reaches up and takes Sam’s leaking cock and starts to stroke it, long rough pulls as he tries to keep pace with Sam’s hips as he moves up and down over Dean’s cock.

Sam cries out, “Holy fuck, gonna, gonna, fucking, Oh My God,” he screams as he comes in thick squirts over Dean’s fingers.

“Shit Sammy,” Dean says as he lets go and holds onto Sam’s hips again guiding him up and down.

Sam rides his orgasm out as he rides Dean’s cock fast and rough. He’s bobbing up and down with increased speed and thrust, squeezing his ass to milk Dean’s throbbing cock.

“Come for me Dean, fucking come in my ass Dean,” Sam commands.

Dean starts to thrust into Sam, he isn’t being gentle now but fucking him hard and fast like Sam seems to want it. His cock is throbbing and the sight of Sam possessed by lust pushes him over the edge. He comes hard and slick into Sam’s ass.

“Oh fuck Sam, yeah, fucking yeah, don’t stop, don’t fucking stop,” he begs.

Sam squeezes his ass tight as he rides Dean’s come and lube slicked cock. His body is weak and quivering as he pushes himself to ride out Dean’s orgasm with him.

Slowing his thrusts Dean holds Sam still, his cock still buried in Sam’s ass. “That was just,” he can’t even finish his sentence before Sam falls forward onto him with exhaustion.

“Hot,” Sam says panting. He’s covered in sweat as he slowly repossessions himself on top of Dean.

“Fucking hot,” Dean says as he tries to catch his breath.

“Shower later, too tired, need sleep,” is all Sam can say before he’s passed out.

Dean wraps his arms around Sam; he’s content and happy as he drifts off to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~//\\\~~~~~~~~~  
~~~~~~~~~\\\//~~~~~~~~~

  
Its winter again and the ground is covered in a light dusting of snow as Sam walks to school. He’s going to be alone again this year for Christmas, it seems like Dean and John won’t make it home before the actual day. This is the last day of school and then Christmas break for two weeks.

When Sam gets to school he’s given a note in homeroom to go see the guidance councilor so he does.

“Mrs. Burke, you wanted to see me,” he says.

“Yes Sam. Have a seat,” she points to the seat in front of her.

Sam sits down nervously.

“Now, I’ve been going over your transcripts and it seems as though even though you move a lot.” She flips through the pages of the transcripts. “18 schools in 12yrs,” she says before looking up at him through the top of her wire rimmed glasses.

“Yes Ma’am,” he says clearing his throat.

“Your grades are well above average and we should start discussing where you would like to attend college in the fall,” she lays the papers down and clasps her hands on the desk.

Sam is shocked, he’s never really thought about college even though he would love to go, to be able to have a higher education, but they can’t afford it. “Mrs. Burke, we don’t have the money to send me to college,” he says frowning.

“Well, fooey on the money, with these grades I am sure we can find you some grants, loans and even scholarships,” she pulls out piles of pamphlets from inside her desk.

Sam smiles as she hands him the applications. “You fill these out and get them back to me and we’ll see what we can do about money, in the meantime read this brochure on Universities in the area and get yourself signed up to take the SAT’s next Saturday,” She ushers him out the door.

Later that night while Sam’s laying in bed his brain keeps seeing the brochures stuffed into his backpack. He goes out and starts to look over them. He bites his lower lip as he reads the applications, the requirements of income and grade status to be eligible and he knows he is eligible for all of them but could he get them.

He takes out his pen and starts to fill each of them out even forging his father’s signature because he knows his father would never approve of the thought of him going off to college.

 

Eight applications later he’s finished; he lays the pen down and sifts through them before stuffing them back into his backpack.

 

Christmas morning arrives and Sam’s alone and when the phone rings, it’s Dean.

“Hello,” Sam says.

“Hey Sammy, Merry Christmas,” Dean says in a cheerful tone.

“Yeah Merry Christmas Dean,” Sam repeats.

“Hey I just called to tell you that under my bed there is a package for you. It’s not much but it’s your gift.”

“Wait I’ll get it,” Sam says dropping the phone and running to the bedroom to retrieve the small box from under Dean’s bed. “Got it,” he says ripping the paper off urgently.

“Like I said it’s not much so don’t be disappointed.”

Sam rips the paper off and opens the box to reveal a small silver pocket knife with a pearl handle. Sam takes it out and examines it. “Dean, it’s beautiful,” he says with a smile. He means every word of it because it’s from Dean.

“I’m glad because I wasn’t sure if you’d like it,” Dean says with relief.

“I love it,” Sam exclaims.

“Good, now I have to go. Dad wants to get on the road so we can be home by tomorrow.”

“Okay, love you,” Sam says quickly before Dean can hang the phone up.

“Me too,” Dean says before hanging up.

Sam looks at the knife, examining it and thinking about how Dean must have spent the time picking it out. He does love it because it’s from Dean and he still carries it to this day for that very reason.

Three days visit isn’t enough before Dean and John head back out onto the road again. If Sam didn’t have school he’d be going with them and for once he envies their leaving. He’s tired of being alone all the time now. Sometimes when Dean calls and says they are on their way home, he doesn’t even get excited because he knows its in and out with them.

He loves the stolen moments with Dean he gets, the short lived family unit but it hurts a little more each time they leave.

New Year comes and goes and its always the same, new year same empty apartment.

It’s the Saturday morning that Sam takes the SATs. He’s nervous and wishes Dean was there to drive him to the school to give him support but instead Jessie picks him up in his dad’s pick up and they go together.

“Good luck man,” Jessie says clapping Sam on the back as they enter the cafeteria.

“Thanks, same to you,” Sam says searching for the table with the W place cards.

Four hours later they are climbing back into Jessie’s truck.

“I don’t know man I don’t think I did very well, the math kicked my ass,” Jessie says starting the truck.

“It was hard but I hope I wasn’t fooling myself when it seemed easier than I imagined,” Sam says rubbing his temples. “What are you doing this afternoon,” he asks Jessie.

“Got a hot date with Mike tonight. Hey, he actually called me this time, told me to meet him at the Old Barn on the edge of town,” Jessie wiggles his eyebrows. “For some hang out time.”

“Oh that’s great,” Sam says very unenthused.

“You wanna come,” Jessie asks. “There are gonna be other guys there, Mike said it’s a gay thing with other closeted gay kids from other areas. Maybe you could hook up, pop your cherry on a stud,” he laughs.

“My cherry is just fine where it is,” Sam says laughing as he thinks about it being safely tucked into Dean’s belt loop.

“Okay your loss,” Jessie says as he stops in front of Sam’s apartment.

“See ya later.” Sam says hopping out of the cab.

Six weeks go by until he gets the letter in the mail with his SAT score. He’s nervous and keeps lying it down on the table until finally he rips the tab open and pulls out the paper inside.

He scans the letter quickly getting to the score, he takes a deep breath before reading it. You scored in the 99th percentile of your class with a score of 2290.  
Sam’s jaw drops and he rereads it, his score is well above his expectations. He jumps around a little bit and gives a tiny whoop, runs to his cell phone and starts to call Dean and then stops. He thumbs the raised padded numbers as he thinks about what the implications of telling Dean or his dad about taking his college boards would be.

He calls Jessie instead.

 

Sam’s guidance councilor helps him to fill out college applications over the next few months but he still doesn’t know how much funding he’ll get if any. For now this is all just a pipe dream, but one that has him a tiny bit excited.

Dean and John are home for Sam’s 18th birthday and it makes him feel a little bit giddy just to have them here with him.

Dean leans over and whispers in Sam’s ear to wake him up by signing, “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Sammy, Happy birthday to you.”

Sam opens his eyes and smiles. “What not done in the tune of Back in Black this year,” he laughs.

“Nope it’s your eighteenth, you get traditional grown up birthday,” Dean says in a lower register as if sounding like a total grown up.

“And I haven’t been a total grown up until now,” Sam questions sitting up on the edge of the bed.

“Of course not,” Dean says as he peeks out into the hall to make sure they can’t be seen before kissing Sam on the lips.

“Oh, so two years of taking care of myself doesn’t count as grown up,” he says before kissing Dean back.

“Of course not, you were still legally a child but now you’re an adult.”

“Gee I wish someone would have told me that beforehand,” Sam says copping a feel of Dean’s crotch through his boxer shorts. “That makes you a cradle robbing pervert ya know. Taking my virginity and all and totally fucking a minor up the ass. Gasp Scandalous,” Sam jokes.

“I didn’t hear you complaining. Wait you were begging for it you little cock slut,” he says pushing Sam back on the bed and straddling his hips. He starts to whisper, “I’d take you right now for your birthday if dad wasn’t still here, fuck you right into the mattress where you belong.”

“Oh Dean, you say the sweetest things,” Sam says with a thick southern accent and female pitch.

“No, I do the sweetest things, get that right.”

They take Sam out to eat and they actually all go see a movie together. Granted it’s an action flick with Bruce Willis and not a Scifi movie like he would have liked but they were all together, like a family. Dean even snuck his hand down beside Sam’s so the backs of their hands would touch during the entire movie.

All and all it was a good birthday and the fact that John went out that evening leaving Dean to give Sam his birthday sex made it all complete.

Sam’s studying for finals when Dean comes in to say goodbye.

“We’ll be back in time for your graduation,” he says kissing Sam’s forehead.

“You better,” is all Sam says.

“I promise, I’ll keep reminding Dad. See you in a few weeks,” Dean says closing the bedroom door behind him.

The sound of the Impala pulling out of the parking lot never fails to make Sam’s heart fall to his stomach.

Finals go smoothly and Sam finds time to go with Jessie to a few end of High School parties. He has a good time, enjoys the normal high school life for a few weeks because he knows once he graduates, the Impala will be packed and he might not have time to turn in his cap and gown before it’s a new town, cheap motel and blood under his fingernails again.

When the mailman slides the letter through the slot there are several small envelopes and one large white one, all addressed to Mr. Samuel Winchester.

Sam opens the smallest one first. It’s an official letter notifying him of a complete scholarship to attend Stanford University in California. He’s stunned, complete and utter amazement floods his brain as he can’t move or think or even breathe.

He sits down and stares at the letter for a long while before opening the biggest envelope which is his college acceptance letter and booklet from Stanford University. He can’t even remember applying for Stanford but he must have or he couldn’t have gotten accepted, right.

The other two envelopes were acceptances to smaller colleges like Penn State University and Pittsburgh College. He had filled them out just because he was a Pennsylvania resident and could get lower tuition rates if he went to his home state schools.

When he went into school on the last day he went to see his guidance councilor to tell her about his acceptance to Stanford and how he was going to accept it, had already called and informed them he would be attending in the fall. She smiled and informed him she had sent that application in for him because she feared he wasn’t exploring all of his options for academic achievement with such high marks on his SATs. He thanked her for caring about him enough to help him get ahead in life.

The morning of commencements Dean and John arrived home to attend the ceremony.

“Well Sam you’re a graduate now,” John says as he pats him on the back.

“That I am, if only the world was my oyster,” Sam says with a far away look in his eyes.

After all of the pomp and circumstance Sam fully expects to be going home and packing up to leave town, just like that, normal is out the window. But when they get home John settles in on the sofa and flips on the television with a beer in his hand as he loosens his tie and unbuttons his shirt collar.

Sam looks at Dean. “What’s the deal, I thought we’d be getting out of town ASAP?”

“Nope, dad says we’re staying for a few weeks, he needs a vacation and the rents not up until then,” Dean says biting into a sandwich.

Sam seriously doesn’t get this but its okay with him, a few more weeks of normalcy.

When they do pack up the Impala and turn the keys in to the landlord Sam feels some loss, some resentment that he’s going back on the road to live the life of a vagabond again. He contacts Stanford and has his mail sent to Bobby’s as his address and informs Bobby about his plans for college. Bobby is proud of him but worries for when John finds out about Sam’s plans.

It’s town after town for the next few months. Hotel after motel, and sleeping in the Impala some nights, Sam has a hard time getting back into the swing of life on the road and he’s glad he doesn’t have to endure it for much longer.

It’s the middle of August and Sam buys his train ticket by phone to leave from South Dakota in a few days. They are heading to Bobby’s for a few days so he figures this will be the time to tell John and Dean, right before he leaves.

“I’m going to tell dad and Dean about going to Stanford, because I’m leaving tomorrow,” he tells Bobby.

“Break it to them gently boy because you know your dad’s not gonna take it sitting down.”

Sam approaches John who is cleaning his gun at the dining room table. “Dad, can we talk for a minute,” he says sitting down across from him.

Dean’s at the other end honing his knife.

“I’m glad you’re here too Dean because it involves all of us,” Sam says nervously.

“Okay, son, what’s on your mind,” John asks putting his gun down.

Sam reaches into his pocket and pulls out the letter from Stanford for acceptance and full scholarship and hands it to John. Dean moves down closer to stand behind John to read it too.

John skims the page and looks up at Sam. “So what does this mean son,” he says with an stern tone.

“It means I am leaving for Stanford tomorrow to attend college on a full scholarship,” Sam says as he looks directly into John’s eyes.

“When did this happen,” Dean says, his heart breaking into a million pieces.

“Before I graduated, I took the SAT’s got a very high mark in the 99% top of my class and so my guidance councilor had me fill out college applications and financial aid forms. I never thought I’d get accepted or a full scholarship, I was shocked when I did,” he says looking hopeful that John would congratulate him.

But he doesn’t, instead he throws the paper on the table and stands up. “You don’t just hand me a piece of paper and tell me you’re leaving for college Sam Winchester. I am your father and this is your job, to help me find that bastard demon that killed your mother,” his face is red and he’s pointing his finger in Sam’s face.

Sam stands up and yells back. “It’s my life dad and I am going to do something better with it than hunt supernatural things. I’m a man now, been raising myself now for the past two years and Dean raised me for the 9 years before that. Don’t go telling me that I am your son and that it is my duty to spend my life miserable with nothing but a car to live in until I am so broken I die,” Sam’s shaking from head to toe when the fist hits his face knocking him backwards.

John points at the door as he’s screaming. “Get out of the house Sam, Get out of the house now,” He turns his back on Sam.

Dean’s face is broken as he watches the scene between them. He knew Sam aspired to be greater than this life but he never knew he would lose him so soon.

Sam goes to the bedroom to collect his things and Dean follows him.

“Why Sammy,” he asks with a tear in his eye.

Sam turns around and takes Dean’s shoulders. “Come with me Dean,” he begs.

“Why didn’t you tell me Sam,” Dean pleads, the tear falling down his cheek as his lips quiver with the words.

“I didn’t want to hurt you. You can come with me Dean, we’ll get a house off campus, get real jobs and I’ll go to school but we’ll be together,” Sam’s hopeful but he sees the look in Dean’s eyes, like he broke him and he can’t fix him.

Dean doesn’t say anything just watches as Sam packs his things then follows him down the stairs where John is cleaning his gun methodically.

“See ya Bobby,” Sam says as he opens the front door.

“If you go out that door Sam, don’t you ever come back, you hear me,” John says coldly.

Sam doesn’t reply he only opens the door and walks out closing it behind himself. The sound of John yelling comes through the door. “YOU HEAR ME!?”

Dean grabs the keys from the table inside the door and runs out after Sam. “Sammy, wait, I’ll give you a ride into the station.”

“Thanks,” Sam says getting into the car.

The ride is silent, neither speaking nor looking at each other. Its awkward like when they had their first fight but Sam’s glad he has this alone time with Dean even if it isn’t what he hoped it would be.

When they pull up in front of the Train station Sam swallows hard. “Come with me Dean,” he pleads one last time.

Dean grabs him and kisses him hard on the mouth, hoping he’s giving him something to stay here for, giving him a reason to not leave him alone.

Sam returns the kiss, holding Dean’s head as tears well up in his eyes. “Come with me Dean,” he says it again, practically begs him.

Dean just lowers his head. “Don’t miss your train Sammy,” he lets go of Sam and turns the car on again. “Get out,” he barks at him.

Sam gets out of the car and barely shuts the door before Dean’s pulling away.

When Sam steps onto the train bound for California, he takes a deep breath knowing that he’s leaving behind everything he’s ever known and he’s not even sure if things will ever be the same with Dean again. He climbs into the car and finds his seat.

~~~~~~~~~//\\\~~~~~~~~~  
~~~~~~~~~\\\//~~~~~~~~~

Dean sits outside of the small house nestled between two massive oak trees and bites his nails. He hasn’t seen Sam in almost three years or talked to him in over one. He tried calling him every day this week but he just couldn’t, his fingers couldn’t find the numbers so he decided a road trip was in order.

It’s dark inside when he peeks through the window but it should be, it’s two in the morning, hardworking students don’t stay up all night partying.

Dean climbs in through the window. He’s rustling around struggling to get through the tiny kitchen window and then falls to the floor with a loud thud, knocking over a chair on his way down making a loud crash as it hits the floor.

When he stands up he’s trying to get his bearings when suddenly he’s tackled by a tall mass of muscle. They struggle in the darkened room and when the light hits his attackers face just right he sees its Sam.

“Whoa, whoa, there Sammy,” Dean says his hand clutching Sam’s shirt.

“Dean,” Sam says confused and a little bewildered.

They stand up still holding onto each other.

“What are you doing here,” Sam says confused.

“I was looking for a beer,” Dean says sarcastically.

A woman appears in the doorway in a smurf t-shirt and short shorts.

“Sam,” She says quietly.

“Jess,” Sam says looking at her.

Dean looks at her and knows instantly that it’s his girlfriend; because of course it makes complete sense that Sam would have a girlfriend at college. Dean’s heart sinks a little bit at the thought of his Sammy with a girlfriend. It’s not like he expected to come here and find Sam pining for him and things would just pick up where they left off three years ago. Who is he trying to kid, of course he thought Sam would fall into his arms, he wants to fall into Sam’s arms.

“Jess this is my brother Dean,” Sam says pointing to Dean. “Dean this is Jess, my girlfriend.”

Dean makes some sexy snide comments about smurfs and the color blue just to make it perfectly clear to Sam that he hasn’t missed him and doesn’t think about what they had, ever.

But that’s a complete lie, because Dean did try to forget Sam, to move on, so he clung to the first person he met after Sam left. Her name was Cassie. He threw all of his trust into her and even told her about being a hunter, but things just couldn’t work out. Maybe it was because Dean wasn’t and never will be over Sam completely or maybe it was the whole being a hunter thing freaked her out, either way it went south very quickly.

Sam’s happy to see Dean, he missed him so much he can’t even describe how it felt but he had to make a new life outside of hunting, he left that all behind him that day in South Dakota when he stepped on that train.

He met Jess not long after he started school and that started a new chapter in his life here at Stanford. Seeing Dean though, he’s not going to lie, it brings up all those old feelings, all those old wants, so he throws his arms around Dean’s neck and hugs him tight.

“Glad to see you Dean,” he says quietly into his ear.

 

 ****

The End


End file.
